


Between Two Trailers

by CampyGlampy



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian AU, Male OC - Freeform, Past Domestic Violence, Repressed Memories, Sexual Fluidity, Sexual Tension, trailer park romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23222980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CampyGlampy/pseuds/CampyGlampy
Summary: Nicky smiled, a small blush reaching her ears."You ride a motorcycle, no?""No, I do. I mean yes--yes, yeah." Gigi babbled. She pulled her jacket back into her lap. Nicky giggled."It seems you should be more careful on it."--The one where Gigi falls for her neighbor in the trailerpark.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Nicky Doll, Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Nicky Doll/Gigi Goode
Comments: 182
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am sooo rusty to this game, y'all. It's been a few...hundred...years?? But I wanted to write trailerpark lesbians and so I did.
> 
> This is also typed on my phone between work shifts on outgrown acrylics; please forgive any errors! :')

Fuck, her arm hurt.

Gigi groaned into the damp chilliness of her bedroom. Light streamed in through the crack where her dark sheets (makeshift curtains pinned to the wall with thumbtacks) didn't quite meet the window sill, and early morning light seeped in. 

Gigi had fallen on her bike last night, and instead of seeking help, she took a couple tequila shots and went to bed.  
She'd skidded on the lot next to her trailer, and got pinned between the bike and gravel of her driveway. And now, she was facing the conseqences.

"Fuuuuck." Gigi hissed. She needed some asprin--something. She didn't fancy the idea of riding into town for pills on this bad arm though. Maybe someone within the park had something.

She got up off her bare twin mattress, snatching a black tank top off of the floor. She shimmied on some yoga pants, bumping her arm. The pain throbbed and Gigi hissed, pressing her forehead to the fake wood paneled wall of her bedroom.

She stepped outside after throwing on her leather jacket, holding her shoulder gingerly. It was a cooler spring morning, dew coating everything.

Gigi sighed, her pain already making her cranky. Gravel crunched under her feet as she headed to the first trailer--her neighbor Widow. Widow was a great friend, and Gigi adored her. She was welcoming, warm, but could be threatening if the situation called for it. Widow had gone for drinks with Gigi numerous times--all had been enjoyable evenings. 

She rapped on the door, the flimsy screen creasing under her knuckles. "Widow! Helloooo?" Gigi called after awhile. Fuck, she must've had a bender last night and bunked elsewhere. 

Gigi turned to the home adjacent-- Jackie's place. Jackie was really kind as well, and while she wasn't part of the motorcycle scene that Gigi and Widow were, she was a fine neighbor. On particularly hot days, Jackie sat on her porch and drank wine coolers, which was how she met Widow (who did the same thing). Thus, Jackie entered the friend group. She was definitely the responsible friend of the three, and always had appetizers to be made and good shows recorded on her DVR for slow afternoons.

However....Jackie's dark green Volvo was nowhere to be seen. Either Miss Cox got lucky last night or was out of town.

"Goddammit..." Gigi moaned, digging her fingers into her jacket sleeve. She really wouldn't be able to manuever her bike right now to get asprin. 

She did vaugely know of one other trailer park patron, though. Right next to Jackie's trailer was hers--Nicky Doll.

Nicky had very quietly moved into the park, and only Jackie had spoken to her a handful of times. She had filled in Gigi and Widow as best she could with what info she got when helping Nicky with some moving boxes.

She was newly single, having left her boyfriend back in Paris. She came to America for a clean slate. She spent a lot on the move, and could only afford a trailer for now.

Also, she was really, really beautiful.

Gigi had once caught her eye while hosing off her bike after a muddy off-road run. Nicky had stepped out to check her mail, wearing a periwinkle sheer robe over boyshorts and a camisole. Her slippers had been small, black, and had fluffy black poufs on the toes. Gigi remembered.

Gigi didn't care that she'd been caught staring, as Nicky looked on at her from over her mail. Her sandy white hair had curved sweetly under her jawline, Gigi also could recall.

Then, she was right back into her trailer with her envelopes, and Gigi's heart was a little excited.

Gigi now hissed through her teeth, the pain worsening as it was left to simmer. She made her way up Nicky's porch, and rapped on the door jamb. She hoped she wouldn't wake her.

Luckily, moments later, Miss Nicky was opening the screen door, her hand keeping her robe closed. This time, it was a very fluffy deep sapphire robe. She looked lovely.

"Hello, how may I help you?" She blinked, her accent thick and rich. Gigi suppressed a shiver.

"Hi, uhm. You don't really know me, but I am a friend of Jackie's, I think she helped you move some boxes once?" Gigi started, only to be met with Nicky's eyebrows furrowing together. "Ah, sorry. I just...need some help." Gigi said, cradling her arm a bit. God, it felt swollen. 

"Are you alright?" Nicky asked, opening the screen door now to fully exit her trailer. Gigi blinked as Nicky's fingertips grazed the sleeve of her injured arm. "Should I call a doctor?" God, her voice was like honey. Gigi had to shake herself back to reality.

"N-no, that's okay. I just need some pain meds. Do you have anything?" Gigi explained. She shifted on her feet, even that small movement making her wince.

"Yes, yes, please come inside." Nicky said, immediately vanishing into her home. Gigi frowned, poking her head into the door.

She shuffled in and pulled the door closed behind her, looking around at the inside of the trailer a bit in awe.

Nicky had managed to make the fake wood walls and cardboard ceilings look...chic. There was a grand armchair in the corner draped in purple velvets, a tall armoire that nearly touched the ceiling. Feather boas in julip mint and jade greens stuck from gaps in the furniture.

Nicky emerged from the kitchen area holding a pill bottle. "Your place is great." Gigi offered with a smile, which dropped off her face when Nicky's robe unfurled a bit...to reveal a lacy black bra.

Gigi's dumb lesbian brain short circuited, and Nicky followed her eye with a blush. "Oh shit--uh, here." Nicky held out the pills and pulled her sash tighter, her porcelain skin becoming pink. 

Gigi should be the one to apologize, busting in and oogling this woman--fresh off a breakup and probably straight. Jesus Christ.

"I'm sorry, Nicky, I will just go--"

"You...you know my name?"

Nicky asked. Gigi took a step back. "Yeah, I know Jackie, remember? She told me your name. Is that okay?"

Nicky grimaced. "Of course, of course. I don't speak with too many people is all. I feel like I have been a bit of a shut in, to be honest." She sat on a little mauve stool, her back pressed to the wall. Gigi followed suit; until Nicky explicitly dismissed her, she would stay.

"Guh!" Gigi hissed, jostling her arm. "F-fucking, hell dude."

"Will you let me see?" Nicky crossed the room in an instant, settling next to Gigi. She motioned for her to take her jacket off.

Gigi groaned thinly as she shed it, vaugely aware of Nicky gently touching her back.  
Nicky inspected it briefly and took the pill cap off. "I think perhaps you dislocated it, but it seems to be popped back where it should be. Here." Gigi took the offered pills and tossed them back dry. 

"What's your name?" Nicky said softly.  
Gigi realized how close their faces were.  
She had tanned skin, paired with the hair as white as paradise beaches--she really was a vision. Her lips looked soft and smooth, her other features petite and delicate. Her eyebrows were so fine and light, they looked very avant garde on her striking face.

"Gigi." She nearly gasped out. Nicky smiled, a small blush reaching her ears. 

"You ride a motorcycle, no?"

"No, I do. I mean yes--yes, yeah." Gigi babbled. She pulled her jacket back into her lap. Nicky giggled.  
"It seems you should be more careful on it." Nicky clasped her hands in her lap. "Have you lived here long?"

Gigi shrugged. "A couple years. My family is pretty wealthy and supportive, but I wanted to start working for myself, you know? Pay for my own housing, make my own living. It feels good." Gigi smiled. 

"I really...admire that." Nicky said quietly. Gigi thought her voice was beautiful, low and curving on her accent.

"How about you? You haven't lived here long, right?" Gigi asked. Nicky seemed to wince.

"No, only a couple months. I moved from France on an impulse because I wanted something new and exciting." Nicky gestured with her hands, and Gigi found is very endearing. "I had a...not so good breakup and I feel like maybe I am running away from problems rather than facing them." She hugged herself without seeming to realize. "It feels kind of lonely, you know? I'm not very good at making friends." She shook her head.  
"Sorry, I am just spilling my guts and you don't even know me."

Gigi touched her hand without thinking. "I don't mind, Nicky. Really. I could...be your friend, if you like? That sounds lame but--"

"I would like that. You and Jackie, you seem like pleasant people." She smiled gently.

"And my friend, Widow too. She is awesome. You would like her, everyone likes her." Gigi offered. Nicky nodded. "Anyway, your ex is missing out. You are better off without him."

Gigi said this, even though she knew nothing of their situatuon. She knew what she believed. Nicky looked forlorn.

"He was sweet, but what we started with died away. I just didn't feel the same for him. He was rightfully upset." Nicky shrugged, her fingers digging into her plush robe.

"If that was how you felt, then. You know. You can't change that to make him happy." Gigi touched the back of Nicky's hand, unfurling it from its grip on her robe. Nicky's eyes looked farway, but focused on Gigi after a moment. 

"Are all Americans this touchy with strangers?" Nicky laughed a little wetly. Gigi fought back her blush and threaded her fingers into Nicky's boldly. Nicky stiffened, but Gigi was presistent.

"Maybe not all are, but I can tell you need a little support right now. You can come visit me anytime, alright? I am in the teal trailer just down the street, okay?" Nicky looked quite taken aback, but smiled.

"I just might take you up on that." Her grip tightened in Gigi's, and her tiny smile grew just a bit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited that people are finding this and reading it! You, you there! I love you! Enjoy!

**"Hey, you."**

Gigi faltered, a text message popping up at the top of her cellphone screen as she was deep in her Instagram feed. She felt a smile tugging at her lips when she saw "Nicky" With a sparkle emoji for the received contact.

**"Hey yourself. What are you up to?"**

She had left her with her cell phone number the day they’d met, and had been constantly chatting ever since.

Nicky was funny. Really, really funny. Her texts made Gigi giggle into the silence of her trailer almost constantly. And she was cute. Obviously.

Gigi loved that Nicky sent her even the smallest details of her day--a picture of fancy marmalade toast and poached eggs in the morning. Nicky’s socked feet sat up next to her Netflix screen. Nicky’s face staring comically and blankly at nothing when the day was too rainy to go out.

Gigi ate it all up. She also was trying to get to know Nicky a bit better. 

She asked about her family back home, what her favorite things about France were, what her hobbies were. Nicky was curious, too--asking about Gigi’s motorcycle origins and her life in America. 

Being friends with Nicky was easy, but trying not to fall for her was hard. Sometimes Gigi couldn’t tell if she was...flirting, or just being friendly. Gigi was certain she was just fabricating things to torture herself. If Gigi sent her a silly selfie to reply to one of Nicky’s, it was often met with numerous emojis and "Cute, cute cute!" Gigi tried to calm her stuttering heartbeat and just thank her.

 **"Just watching TV. Painting my toenails."** Nicky replied with three nail-painting emojis.  
**"I chose red bc I was feeling spicy"**

Gigi laughed, pressing her phone to her chin. She tapped her nails to the case. She didn’t work today...she wondered what kind of response she’d get if she asked Nicky to hang out. 

Nicky worked as a translator part time, at a school a ways outside of town. She worked on getting certified when she got to America, she’d told Gigi. It was decent money and she needed to save up so she didn’t have to live in the park forever.  
Gigi asked if she was working today and headed to her bedroom. She started rifling through her laundry basket of clean clothes when she got a reply.

**"No work, only toenails today."**

**"Do you want to go get lunch with me, then? We can walk around town after :D"** Gigi responded.

Nicky’s reply was almost instant, **"Yessss! Get me outta here! Meet at my place in an hour? Sorry, but I am definitely driving."**

Gigi smiled down at her screen. **"Whaaat? You don’t want to ride on my bike even tho I just proved I don’t know how to park? I’m wounded."**

 **"I know u are wounded! Because u don’t have a car!!! Girl!!!"**  
Gigi couldn’t help but grin even wider.

\--  
Gigi was locking up her front door when a sweet voice called out her. “Gigi! You off to work?”  
Jackie was in front of her own trailer, a watering can in hand, hovering above her potted plants. Gigi had always envied Jackie’s ability to make her tiny tin trailer look like a fancy cottage draped in plants.

Jackie had her dark hair up in a banana clip, yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt that probably had a cute, dorky phrase on it.  
“Oh, uh no! No work today, thank God.” Gigi smiled, suddenly a little self conscious about walking to Nicky’s trailer to fetch her.  
Jackie smiled in her sweet, knowing way. “You look very nice, where ever you’re going!” This would be where Gigi would actually say what she’s up to…instead she offers, “You look nice…too!”

Jackie’s eyebrow quirked. “Darling, I look like I’ve been on the couch all morning.”

Gigi chuckled nervously. “Oh, okay—“ She reached up to brush her hair from her face, but her injured shoulder flared in pain and she probably looked insane when her face twisted in discomfort. Jackie’s face supported this thought.  
“Gigi—”  
“SorryJackieIhavetogo!” Gigi started for Nicky’s trailer, and could only feel Jackie’s eyes on her back. Jackie was too polite to press the issue of her oddness, but she would probably get poked at later. She didn’t really know why she was being sneaky about talking to Nicky, it just felt like she…didn’t know yet.  
Gigi rapped on the thin metal of Nicky’s front door, trying to quiet the damn thumping of her silly, stupid heart. This was their first time hanging out since Gigi barged in on her, and she hoped she would leave a better impression than arriving looking like hung-over roadkill.

She’d opted for a teal green romper today with long black socks to keep her legs warm. She had also pulled on a tan bomber jacket since the late morning was still a little chilly.

"Miss Nickyyy!" Gigi smiled as the woman in question opened the door, her face alight with a smile.  
"Hey! You ready to roll, my dear?" Nicky jingled her car keys and led them both to her car. Unknown to Nicky was the gay panic going on in Gigi’s mind at that moment.

Nicky looked stunning. Gigi was now realizing she’d mostly just seen Nicky in leisure-wear at home. Those alone consisted of pretty robes and fluffy slippers with kitten heels, so she should have expected to be gobsmacked.

Nicky had lightly slicked her hair back at the temples, showing off her lovely face. She wore a casual black mesh dress over something structured, making her look put-together but not over dressed. It was simple but classic, perfect for a day of shopping.

"Helloooo? Gigi? You okay?"

Gigi blinked, realizing she was still at the stoop while Nicky waited at her tiny silver car.

"Uh, yeah. Not enough coffee yet, I guess!" Gigi smiled and hooked her sweaty hand into the door handle. She had to pull it together! She was acting like Nicky was the first person she’d met in eons.

"So, where are we going first?"  
\--  
Gigi directed the car about an hour outside of town, more towards the city. She was excited to see Nicky’s reaction--she hadn’t really explored beyond the town and her own workplace area.

"There is a cute cafe up there, we can share some sandwiches and have coffee before we shop." Gigi explained, fiddling with the radio stations.  
"How very Norman Rockwell." Nicky remarked, noticing Gigi’s attempts to find something that wasn’t Country or Christian Rock. "Do you want to listen to a CD?"

Gigi rose an eyebrow at her. "Is this the 90’s? You still have CDs?" Nicky scoffed.

"I have my French CDs. I have had them for years. I just haven’t put them on my phone or whatever." She gestured with hand to the glove box. "Pick one."

Gigi was intrigued. She opened the black binder of CDs and selected the first one she saw and popped it in.

The music that played began with just a few soft notes, and bled into guitar. When the singer began, it melted Gigi. It was soothing--the words stringing together and wrapping all around her.

Nicky hummed part of the chorus under her breath, just making it harder on Gigi, honestly. Nicky had a bit of a dreaminess in her eyes. "Mm, good choice. I love this song."

Gigi chewed on her lip, "It’s lovely. I--I really like it too." Nicky hummed again, and Gigi felt almost like an intruder. Nicky knew what she was singing along to--Gigi didn’t. So she asked what she’d been wondering for a while; now as good a time as any.

"Do you miss Paris? Like, do you regret leaving?"

Nicky frowned thoughtfully. "Erm...no, I don’t regret it. I miss my family, but the time away is well-needed. They are a bit...how do you say this-- stifling." She glanced at Gigi. "After all, coming here led me to you. I am not happy you got hurt, but I am very happy that you knocked on my door." She smiled triumphantly.

Gigi shuffled her seat, her face growing hot from Nicky’s blunt confession. Gigi...was worth the fuckery that was America? Very hard to believe. "You haven’t gotten to know me that well, Miss Nicky. I might just make you regret it yet." 

\--  
**"Jackie said something was off with you. What does that mean?"**

The message was from Widow--Gigi placed her phone in her lap and sucked her teeth. What did that mean? Gigi didn’t even know herself, really. She chewed on her lip until Nicky came back to the table.

"Look at these little macarons! I will already say, it won’t compare to home-- but it hits the nostalgia." Nicky smiled and set down the tray with their lunch.

Gigi put her phone away and reached for her coffee. She made a mental note to reply to Widow later and try to explain her lesbian nature when it came to sweet French girls.

Nicky was nibbling on a purple macaron, looking pensive. "Yeah...not amazing but pretty good."  
Gigi chuckled. "Such high praise." Nicky winked.

"So, Miss Gigi. Do you have a man in your life? Chained to the back of your trailer, perhaps?"

Gigi could tell Nicky was just starting conversation--but she choked on her coffee anyway. She coughed briefly and Nicky had wide eyes and a grin.

"So should I be calling the FBI? Oh my god, it is true!" 

"No, no! It’s just uhm--" Gigi pulled on her coffee straw, the plastic squeaking. "I don’t really like guys. Romantically. I am more into girls." She gauged Nicky’s reaction. Her eyes were bright and seemed surprised, but not in a bad way. 

"Oh! I see." She pursed her bright red lips. "Guys are kind of bothersome anyway, aren’t they?" Gigi exhaled a breath she’d been holding and chuckled. "So--a girlfriend, then?"

"Not at the moment." Gigi leaned back in her chair. "I think I have burned all the bridges between me and who I would wanna have sex with in a 100-mile radius, though. Slim pickings." Nicky looked a little speechless. Gigi winced. "Sorry."

Nicky waved her hand, her brows furrowed. "Don’t be. I just want you to be happy. With a woman, with no one--as long as you’re happy." Nicky’s eyes sparkled. Damn, why was she so cute and sincere? 

"Anyway, what about you, miss thing? You must have guys crawling all over you. Any coworker hotties?" Gigi flipped her hair and paired it with a cheesy Valley Girl accent.

Nicky spluttered. "No, not at all. Most of the men at the school are older and married. Not much of a pond of possibilities, I am afraid." Was Nicky blushing?  
"We will get you out more. If I can get morning weekend shifts, I’ll take you on a night on the town." Gigi said, popping a cherry tomato in her mouth. Nicky looked a little uncomfortable but nodded nonetheless.

"Are you almost done? I want to see what the shopping is like here." Nicky even bounced gently in her chair--too cute for her own good.

"Well, shopping is gonna be only nostalgic for you as well, Nicky. Compared to Paris…just don’t get your hopes up."

\--  
Turned out, Nicky knew how to shop, even in thrift stores mainly occupied by grandmothers. She already had in her arms a beret, a plaid skirt, and a cute blue dress that Gigi offered to tailor for her.

Nicky had sadly gone to hang it back on the rack when she saw it was three sizes too big, when Gigi spoke over the aisle. "Hey, I can nip that in for you so it fits. I have a sewing machine."

Nicky pursed her lips. "Are you actually good at sewing? I don’t want to lose four whole dollars." She teased.

"Shut up! Yes, I am good. Great, even." She flipped her hair as Nicky giggled.  
"Okay, Miss Gigi Great."

"So where are we going next?" Nicky asked as she put a hand to the small of Gigi’s back as they walked. Gigi supressed a shiver.

"Uhmmm...well we can go to--"

"Gigi!"

The two girls turned at once, and the source of the voice was moving toward them. "Widow!"

She stood with her hands on her hips, a bit of a scowl on her face. Despite the angry face--she was a beautiful woman with a full figure, holding a stance suggesting she was ready to run Gigi over. She wore an embellished plaid button up, had a black pixie cut with soft bangs fanning over her forehead. In her arms were a few items as well—being that this was one of the better thrift shops in the area.  
"I thought I told you not to put me on read! Especially when you’ve been acting weird." Gigi frowned.

"I—I’m hanging out with Nicky, I--"  
"Oh right right, you live on our street! How are you, gorgeous? Love your dress." Widow went from jumping down Gigi’s throat to gushing over the French woman. Nicky smiled, obviously amused.

"I’m good! Gigi is just taking me out of my cold dark dungeon for a few hours. I haven’t visited this area much." 

"Very nice. Now then, Gigi--may I have a word? One second, sweetheart." Nicky nodded and headed for the check out line as Widow pulled Gigi’s skinny ass to the shoe section.

"Why are you acting so crazy?" Gigi hissed. Widow frowned. "Why do you think? If you fuck up with that girl, our street is gonna be a war zone. I know you like to love ‘em and leave ‘em, Gigi. I’ve seen your place get egged and toilet papered many a time." Even though it was true, it stung a bit.

"It isn’t even like that! She is straight, o-or could be bi-- I don’t know! But we aren’t hanging out...like that. I don’t even know what or who she likes." Gigi felt a frustrated blush pepper her face. Widow narrowed her eyes.

"See, but you definitely are thinking about it!" She pointed at Gigi. The taller girl sighed. 

"I’m not trying to do anything, okay? I like her, yes-- but she hasn’t expressed interest and I will take what I can get. That make you happy?"

Widow’s face softened. "Listen, Gigi. I’m not trying to be a bitch. But you have this thing...not to get all psycho-analyst on you, but you try to make flings hate you right when you get close. Why is that? It’s like you self-sabotage."

"If you were my therapist, I’d say because I don’t feel I deserve love?" Gigi chuckled, but the statement was a bit too bleak for a laugh. And Widow’s look of vivid concern just made her stomach turn.

Both women could see Nicky approaching with her bags, so no other words were spoken. "Hey, you ready to head out or need a little longer?" She asked, sensing a strange energy. Gigi shook her head.

"No, we’re done. I will see you later, Widow." She said stiffly, looking anywhere but at the woman she was addressing.

"Yeah, uhm. See you later. Good to see you, Nicky."

Nicky smiled brightly and put her hand on Gigi’s elbow.  
Part of her wanted to shake it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that they play in Nicky's car is "Quelqu'un m'a dit" by Carla Bruni!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...my poor little heart is broken for our girl Nicky! Will miss her dearly but this ship sails on! Can't wait to see what she'll do next. ;)
> 
> As for this chapter--please enjoy! Updating some tags and adding some familiar names. Thank you for reading!

"Home sweet home!" Nicky smiled as they pulled into Gigi's driveway. Gigi hummed and picked at her cuticles.

"Are you alright?" Gigi should have seen that one coming. 

She'd been acting sour the whole way home since Widow basically read her like a book. She brought to light basically the root to Gigi's damn lonely demise. Self sabotage was the name of the game, and Gigi played to win. Why she did this... was yet to be determined.

"Oh, yeah. Just tired." She didn't look up for her lap. Her heart stuttered when a soft, manicured hand laid on top of her spindly fingers with torn up nail beds.

"You sure? Did your friend tell you something bad? You seem to have gotten "tired" after the thrift store." She used air quotes with her free hand.

"I don't know, Nicky...do you ever feel like...you are meant to be alone? Like it is just in the cards for you?" Gigi's face burned hot at her own admission, but no sense in back pedaling now.

She expected Nicky to be surprised or tell her she's being dramatic--or what that even had to do with Widow, but instead she immediately says, "Yes. I do."

Gigi's throat worked for something to say, but looking at Nicky's bright blue eyes took what little she could have conjured up. She silently turned her hand so their fingers linked, not unlike their first meeting. "Alone together, then....huh?"

Nicky's eyes seemed to smile. "Of course."

Gigi let the moment sit for a bit, her heart picking up as Nicky rubbed her thumb across the back of her hand. She just wanted to hold her hand forever, and it kind of freaked her out to want someone so much.

"Thank you for hanging out with me today, Nicky. It was fun." She nodded and Nicky squeezed her hand before drawing away.

"I should be thanking you! I was saved from a Saturday of doing nothing. I had fun too." 

Gigi unbuckled herself with sweaty hands, and looked up to bid one final goodbye when she smelled a musky floral perfume and felt soft skin against her cheek.

Nicky's small hand touched her shoulder as she kissed her cheek, barely a caress... but Gigi instantly flushed. Her ears pounded.

Nicky's eyelash brushed against her cheekbone as she pulled away, seemingly in slow motion. She rocked back on her seat, a smile tugging at her mouth until she saw Gigi's slack jawed expression.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Nicky's eyes went wide. "I sometimes forget that kissing goodbye is not the norm here in America."

Gigi shook her head, feeling like her head was underwater. "No, no, it's fine! Just unexpected." Nicky looked unsure, like maybe she was about to say something.

"Okayseeyoulater!" Gigi said probably too loudly, gripping the car door with an iron grip. She stumbled onto the gravel driveway, and all but ran into her trailer. 

Her heart pounded like she'd ran a marathon, and her knees were shaking. She could still smell Nicky's perfume.

What the hell was wrong with her? 

\--

Come Monday, Nicky flipped her phone over for the millionth time that day. It wasn't even lunchtime yet and she was getting a low battery.

Gigi hadn't texted Nicky at all on Sunday after their Saturday outing. Nicky wasn't the type to double text, but she was growing concerned at her last lonely "Good morning Gigi!" text from yesterday.

She sat at her desk at work, trying to focus and not let anyone see her on her device too much. Her desk was within a cubicle that belonged in a row of other teacher's workspaces. She wasn't a teacher or a full-time employee, so she had sort of a communal work area.

"Hey Nicky! How was your weekend?"

Nicky jumped a bit, but her shoulders relaxed when she saw who it was--Miss Jan.

Jan went by Miss Jan by her students, but Nicky didn't really know why. Perhaps her last name was embarassing? Either way she chose not to share it publicly or out loud. It was just Jan or Miss Jan, which fit her personality anyway.

Jan leaned against the cubicle divider, some folders in her arms. Jan was a physical education teacher, and was also dabbling in helping out in health and nutrition classes.

Nicky admired that Jan was so ambitious and took on a lot of jobs.

Jan was another person that Nicky wanted to befriend, but sometimes didn't know how to strike up an idea for something outside of work.

"It was pretty good, actually! I went shopping with a friend and stayed in on Sunday." She tapped her fingers to her phone case absent-mindedly. Jan smiled and nodded. "Sounds fun!"

Would have been more fun if Nicky hadn't weirded her out so much on accident. 

Nicky gestured to Jan. "What about you?"

Jan rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry with her lips. Nicky chuckled. "Girl, I had another bad blind date. Another one! I just don't know if I am being picky or if I just have bad luck. I feel like I have run out of options." She made a face (Nicky always got a kick out of Jan's stories from her expressions alone). 

"My date said I talked too much! Like, what? Excuse me for trying to get to know you, boo boo! Pfft."

"Oh! Well, what kind of men do you like? I'm sure you can find someone else."  
Nicky asked, even though there was no way she could set her up either, since she knew no one that Jan didn't already know.

Jan grimaced a little. "Well here's kind of the kicker. I'm gay. Didn't you know? I feel like I am...pretty obvious." Jan giggled and gestured to herself. She was just wearing a lavender velour tracksuit--was that a thing? Nicky was clueless.

Nicky was also a bit stunned, having deja vu from her and Gigi's conversation. In such a small town--there were two girls who openly dated women? Nicky supposed that Gigi had mentioned dating a lot before. Amongst other things.

"Oh girl. You okay? Did I just blow your mind or what?" Jan asked, shifting on her feet a bit. Nicky shook her head.

"No, no! I just found out my neighbor isn't into men either--only women, this weekend. Just an interesting coincidence is all!" Nicky sounded winded to her own ears.

Jan pursed her lips and put a hand on her hip, straightening out a bit. "Ohh...does she now? And your friend...is single?"

Nicky suddenly felt her gut clench. Her throat worked to push out a thick, monotone "Yes."

Jan flipped her high ponytail over her shoulder and flashed her infectious smile. "Well, Nicky...I think you just solved my dating problem."

If Nicky just helped her friend...why did she feel like she swallowed a rock? Shouldn't she be happy? 

She agreed to try to reach out to Gigi and set something up. Her ribcage felt cold and hollow, and she didn't understand why. She just hoped this would make Gigi happy like it did Jan.

She just wanted Gigi to be happy.

\--  
Gigi swore she could smell that familiar, musky perfume.

She inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering open to see mauve walls with emerald velour draped over them. She could hear violins over the roaring in her ears.

When she looked toward the ceiling, the top of the bedroom she was in was gone--opened only to a lavendar sky and wispy pink clouds. She could feel a breeze on her face.

"Where...?" She sat up, and suddenly firm hands were on her hips, a pressure pressing against her abdomen. 

Her eyes met sparkling blue irises, and it was like her body was in cement. "Nicky...."  
Her breath seemed to seep from her lungs.

Nicky was wearing a creamy silk robe, falling open across her chest. Unlike before, there was no black bra. Gigi gasped and rocked back in her spot in this seemingly floating bed, whimpering hopelessly. Nicky was smirking, leaning over her.

Gigi arched her back as Nicky pressed her hot, open mouth to her throat. "Hah...." Gigi hissed, Nicky's body parting her thighs.

 _"Gigi...Gigi...my Gigi..."_ The whispers tickled the ear of the girl in question. It felt like her limbs were filled with sand, heavy and slow to move. 

The clouds were circling them, the bedroom getting foggy. Gigi felt overwhelmed as Nicky pushed further, held her tighter, kissed her harder. Gigi was falling apart at the seams.

"Nicky, please...don't ever go." Gigi heard herself pleading. Her arms encircled the blond woman's shoulders. "Don't leave."

Nicky hummed in her ear. _"My Gigi...."_

Gigi sighed, a smile on her lips. Her named sounded beautiful from those lips.

_"They all leave you."_

Gigi jolted, cold ice pressing to her naked body. Her eyes flew open, darkness overcoming her. A scream was lodged in her throat, her limbs made of stone.

_"They all leave in the end, Gigi."_

\--

Gigi felt a needle-like gasp tear through her chest. She fell against her sheets, her chest heaving. 

It was just a nightmare.

Gigi bit her lip hard enough to add lucidity. She willed her rattling heartbeat to calm down.

Gigi laid for a moment, knowing she had to go ahead and get up. She wiped a hand over her damp brow as her phone vibrated.

It was probably around 10 a.m. now--Gigi was quite the night owl and really didn't care to get up in the morning if she didn't need to.

Her hand smoothed across the flannel sheets, and she turned her head on the pillow to look at the phone screen.

It was from Nicky. 

Worrying her lip and whining lowly, she opened the message. Her cheeks were hot as she recalled what she'd just been dreaming about when it came to Nicky.

Gigi knew she'd ignored Nicky's text from yesterday, but she needed to think. She needed to give her heart a little break before plunging back in.

She'd still been thinking of that kiss on the cheek for dumb, gay reasons, against her better judgement.

She focused on the new message.

**"Hey Gigi! So this is kind of random, but my coworker has been having bad dates lately and would love to meet you if you're down! Her name is Jan :) She is super duper nice."**

Gigi stared up at her ceiling, dropping the phone onto her sheets.

Jan...she hadn't met anyone named Jan. She could meet Jan.

Plus, it would distract her from her constant thoughts of Nicky, who as far as she knew...wouldn't be returning her affections. Not in the same way, at least.

This could be good for everyone. Who knew, maybe she would even fall for Jan and live happily ever after.

Unlikely...but it was a nice thought.

**"Hi Nicky. Sure, please give her my number ;)"**

Gigi stretched under her bedsheets, a groan spilling from her lips as her muscles tugged. She pushed a hand through her bed-mussed hair, trying not to think of blue eyes and tan skin with dimples.

Her phone vibrated again.

**"Great. She says she is free Friday night."**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Big HUGE thank you to anyone reading this! Seriously, I thought I would be posting this and maybe getting one person to read it if I was lucky, but the reception has been so warm and it just makes me so thankful! Thank you THANK YOU for keeping me motivated with comments and kudos. They mean the world!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!!

Gigi had the lunch rush shift today.  
She put her phone on her pillow and headed to the shower. She blasted the water on hot and stayed in until it ran lukewarm.

Work was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now, but it would at least keep her mind off things. And give her a good excuse not to worry about texting Nicky all day.

She winced inwardly, pulling her long wet hair over her shoulder. She was on just the right track to fucking things up with Nicky. And she knew it. She would have to reach out if she wanted to hang out with her again.

She finished getting ready, pulling on a sleeveless navy Harley-Davidson top with some denim jean shorts. She didn't normally wear something so...middle America, but it fit as a uniform. 

She checked the time; her ride would be here soon. She'd texted Crystal to pick her up since her arm was still too fucked for her to ride her bike.

Crystal was Gigi's good friend and co-worker at the diner they both served at. It was an ultra-hick stop, with cringy license plates and novelty signs on the walls. It was a popular place for passing truck drivers and families. Gigi wished they both worked at a higher end place, but the town was small and the next city was too far away for that kind of near-daily commute. Pickings were slim for everyone. The town was cheap to live in, which was why basically all of Gigi's friends tolerated living there. Out of necessity.

Gigi was finishing her lipstick application when she heard a horn honking outside.

"Giiigiii!"

Gigi could hear Crystal screaming out her car door window on the small street. Even parked outside of her own trailer, Crystal was still fairly close. And fairly loud.

Why Crystal couldn't just text that she'd arrived was beyond Gigi. She laughed to herself and capped her lipstick as Crystal honked sporadically, probably attempting a song jingle.

Gigi grabbed her purse and stepped outside, waving at Crystal and motioning a "cut it out" movement over her throat. Crystal just laughed.

"I think I'm making Jackie mad!" Crystal leaned out her window, turning to the trailer in question. Gigi could see Jackie through her front open window, but she was smiling.

"Your friend is noisy!" She called out. Gigi laughed.

"Girl, you know Crystal! She's your noisy friend too!" She hopped into the passenger seat, grinning at the woman. Jackie cracked a smile.

"I want a refund! A friend refund!" Crystal smiled and yelled "Hey!!" as the car started up and began rolling down the tiny road.

"So." Crystal began, with simply a pointed look at Gigi. "Someone doesn't know how to ride their bike."

Gigi scoffed. "I do too! I was just...tired. Slip-ups happen. I haven't hurt myself on that thing in years." She crossed her arms, her shoulder only faintly throbbing today. Her asprin bottle that Nicky'd given her rattled in her bag. "I already miss riding it."

Crystal hummed. "Well, I am excited to have a carpool buddy. Did you do anything fun on your day off? Or just lay around in pain and agony?" Gigi shook her head.

"No ahh...I actually hung out with my neighbor."

"Oh, Widow?" Gigi shook her head.  
"Jackie, then."

"Uhn, no." Crystal gave her a funny look.

"Well damn then, who else lives in Trailer Park Alley with you? So mysterious."

"Her name is Nicky. She moved in a few months ago. From France."

"Ooooh! A cultured woman! Is she...an interesting woman?" Crystal smiled like the Cheshire cat, her sparkling purple lips framing her white teeth.

Gigi sighed. "I think she is interesting, but uninterested... if you catch my drift." Crystal nodded, her whole body bobbing. She had a way with being charming and funny without realizing it. Gigi already felt good being around someone who wasn't trying to lecture her.

(Even though Widow was just being helpful, she was too stubborn to let it sink in.)

The drive seemed to be too short, and before they knew it, they were preparing to clock in.

\--

Gigi and Crystal's shift seemed to drag on.

Their manager, Michelle--got a little short when Gigi said anything about her arm hurting. Apparently in Michelle's eyes, Gigi was past her alloted time to be sore.

Michelle also gave Crystal a bit of a hard time for her makeup being too "bold" for work--which made Gigi roll her eyes into her brain behind the woman's back to make Crystal crack a smile. Gigi hoped that Crystal would be able to leave the town soon and persue her art--she was too creative for this shithole.

Gigi and Crystal shared a basket of fries and chicken tenders between taking out orders, leaning against the crates of soda syrup in the back. Crystal dabbed at her forehead with a napkin from the constant running around.

"So what are you doing this weekend? I didn't see you on the schedule for Friday night. Hanging out with your _cherie_?" Crystal smiled around a french fry. Gigi snorted at her horrible take on an accent.

"No, I am going on a date though. Blind date. Sure to end badly." Gigi shifted on her feet.

Crystal frowned.

"Well yeah! With that attitude it'll end badly, silly!" Gigi just shrugged, grabbing a clean rag to tuck into her apron.

"I will tell you all about it, I'm sure. I gotta go grab table two's order. Don't eat all the fries, Crystal!"

Crystal giggled and held up her hand, clutching a handul of them in defiance. Gigi went back to finish her rounds, but not before slipping her phone from her purse hanging in her locker. 

There was a new message from Nicky.

Throwing a glance behind her shoulder in case Michelle was in the prowl--but only seeing Crystal basically dance in place while eating fries (she was definitely an alien, Gigi was sure), Gigi flipped open the message.

**"Hey! Hope your day is going well!! How has ur arm been feeling btw? :) I feel like its been forever since I've seen u and its been like just a couple days baha"**

Gigi felt her neck heat up. Nicky was seriously...too endearing for her own good. It made her heart flutter to have the lovely girl ask about her health like that. Gigi sighed and quickly replied before she chickened out.

**"So far so good! At work rn. How bout u?  
And I knooooo! We need to hang out again soon when I don't smell like bacon grease and trucker B.O. :((("**

Gigi threw her phone back in her locker after sending, and made a beeline for the dining area to get her body moving before her brain could catch up.

It began to be torturous--a song played that reminded Gigi of the song in Nicky's car. An older woman wore the same mauve from inside the French girl's living room. She just wanted to see Nicky. She already knew Friday would be a failure, and already felt bad for how she knew she'd act. Either she'd offend her date, or get laid but ask her to leave so she could wallow in her own pity. 

What a goddamned mess. She really was in it deep for Miss Nicky Doll now.

\--  
Nicky sighed softly as she rubbed lotion over her silky legs. 

She knew she was a little extra, walking around her apartment in a sheer black robe and taking care of her dry knees and elbows like she was in a commercial. But what could she do? She was so bored.

She had gotten home from work not long ago, having finishing her work around lunch and clocking out for the day. She had bid farewell to an ecstatic Jan, and was intrigued for how Friday would fare for her two friends.

Hm, friends. Yes. Her two friends. The thought made Nicky smile.

Nicky leaned her shoulder to her window sill, looking down at the quiet street. 

She hadn't seen Jackie up and about yet today yet. Gigi's motorcycle was left behind, somewhat forgotten as its rider still could not handle manuevering it.

Nicky still hadn't seen Gigi ride her bike since they'd begun talking, of course. Now that she knew her, Nicky wondered what seeing that would be like.

Probably hot.

Nicky's spine went rigid. Had she really just..referred to Gigi as hot? So nonchalantly?

There was no doubt that Gigi was attractive. She was possibly the most gorgeous woman Nicky had ever met.

That thought alone made Nicky's eyes widen. Again! 

Gigi had a striking face--handsome bone structure and a nose and mouth plucked from a vintage fashion illustration.

And her eyes were like bright seafoam. They were stunning. 

By this point, Nicky was running her hands through her hair and shrugging off the poetry she'd just waxed about Gigi in her mind. It was whatever. It was fine. Gigi was beautiful. She could admit that, right?

She hadn't often felt...guilty for thinking someone was beautiful. Jan was beautiful and cute, but Nicky didn't feel odd for thinking that.

Nicky turned back to the window upon hearing some gravel crunch under car tires.

In front of Gigi's trailer was a rather grotesque orange Volvo that had probably seen better days...some twenty years ago.

Gigi was getting out of it, waving at the driver with her lovely, toothy grin. Nicky couldn't see the driver much aside from a silhouette suggesting some very voluminous, short hair. 

The car rolled off, and Nicky's heart lurched as Gigi rubbed her injured shoulder before fishing for her keys. Should Nicky check on her? Would that be odd? Probably.

The blonde woman tried to focus back on her task of drowning herself in lotion and half-way watching Wheel of Fortune, but she couldn't take her mind off of Gigi's smile. Her auburn hair had got caught in the afternoon breeze, and she'd been showing more skin than Nicky'd remembered ever seeing, with a sleeveless tank and denim shorts.

Gigi really was rail-thin and had the palest complexion--an interesting dichotomy to her riding a bike and being what Nicky would call--a badass.

One beautiful badass.

Nicky pumped more lotion into her hand than needed, and ended up having to wash her hands from the excessive mess. She sighed and dried her hands, wincing as a voice bled into the edges of her memory, bright and dark all at once like a flame, burning everything that it met black.

_"Why would you chose a life like that? One where you would never really know love?"_

She towelled her hands vigourously.

_"I feel sorry for you, Nicolette. Why are you throwing your life away?"_

Nicky exhaled shakily, leaning against the counter.

_"Someone told me they saw you at the cafe downstairs yesterday with a woman. Is she a friend? Why haven't you mentioned her?"_

Her hands flew through her short hair, sweat pricking her brow.

_"I know you don't like to be touched, but they said you were holding hands with her. So you hold a strange girl's hand but not even your boyfriend's? What is going on, Nicolette?"_

Nicky looked out her kitchen window, her arms wrapped around herself. As the memories quieted, she remembered another voice, and her heartbeat calmed down. 

A sweet voice that was mysterious and kind and comforting. A melodic giggle...the softest gasps and laughter.

It seemed that at least something could soothe the burnt edges of Nicky's past, at least a little.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date Night time!!
> 
> Enjoy!

Friday came in the blink of an eye.

Gigi sat in front of her vanity crammed into the corner of her tiny bedroom. She passed a large brush over the apples of her cheeks, tilting her head from angle to angle, wondering if she had too much highlighter on.

No, it was fine.

She'd gone with a hyper-femme blue blouse for her date tonight--falling around her thin, pale shoulders and showing her long neck. Her auburn hair tumbled down her back in waves. A sliver of her flat stomach was revealed by the top she'd selected.

She wondered what Jan was like. 

Was she full of quips and cute ticks and cheesy jokes? Was she sincere and caring, even to people she didn't know? Probably, but Gigi still didn't know if she wanted someone like that, just because they were not Nicky Doll.

Her phone vibrated on the vanity desk. Speak of the devil--it was Jan.

**"Hey! :D I think I just pulled up. Place with a motorcycle out front, right? Your chariot awaits!"**

\--

Gigi's first impression of Jan was...she seemed really funny and cute. Gigi hadn't met many people in her adult life who were as optimistic as Jan. 

The two sat at a table of a diner in town--Jan had agreed to travel a little ways to meet up with Gigi. It was a kind gesture, Gigi was vaugely aware. She was just wondering if Jan would want to to take her home tonight and make her forget who she was for a while.

Jan was muscular and shorter than Gigi (most girls were)--she was both delicate and sturdy. She wore a tight tube dress that showed her curves wonderfully.

Her long blonde hair was down except at the crown, where she'd tied her hair in a youthful knot. Her eyes sparkled in purple hues. Gigi even noticed tiny silver stars tucked into the corners of her eyes.

Gigi listened and nodded to Jan's stories because she knew that's how dates went. She poked at the country fried chicken doused in gravy she'd ordered.

Jan loved musicals, loved her job, loved her school, loved life. Gigi felt a sliver of jealousy. This girl was so perfect, how was she not married with two adopted kids by now?

She wondered what Nicky was doing with her free Friday night. Was she at home watching her favorite vintage movies? Was she touching up her red nail polish?

Was she out with someone?

Wait, did Jan just say her name?

"Gigi?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, what?"

Jan sighed and smiled a bit sadly. "You weren't listening to a word I was saying, did you?"

Gigi made a point to bite her chicken in an aggressively big portion. Jan looked tired, and Gigi's guilt crawled up her spine. "I was, I was! Keep going. You were talking about your college soccer team." Gigi prayed she was right. Jan looked at her for a while, as if she were trying to read her.

"You know, Gigi, if you had something...or _someone_ else on your mind, you could have declined the date." Although Jan was clearly upset, her voice wasn't as accusatory as it could have been. 

Gigi's eyes went wide. "What? No I just--"

Jan held up a perfect manicured hand to effectively silence Gigi's excuse. She wasn't fooling anyone.  
"I think I should just take you home." 

Gigi snapped her mouth shut, and she could only nod. What more could she do? Was she really that obvious? She simply wasn't impressing Jan. She was such a disappointment. She chewed on the inside of her lip until she tasted copper as Jan slid her credit card on the table.

"Jan, let me pay. I already ruined your night." Gigi looked at her spindly red fingers in her lap. "I knew this would fucking happen."

"Gigi...you are such a beautiful, lovely girl. I was so excited to meet you, and despite everything, I'm glad we did. And Nicky spoke so highly of you, but clearly something is taking up your mind. Is everything okay?" Jan twisted her napkin in her hands.

Gigi felt like she couldn't keep it in anymore.

"I'm falling for Nicky."

She snapped her teeth shut and Jan was wide-eyed, her perfectly painted lips in an "O".

"Ahh...I assume she doesn't know that?"

Gigi groaned. "No. I'm sorry, Jan. I'm such a...pain in the ass."

Jan tilted her head, and slid a hand over the table, reaching to Gigi. Her sea-hazel eyes looked on with confusion before hesitantly linking her fingers into Jan's.

"We are obviously not the ones for each other. I think you should focus on Nicky." Jan said softly.

Gigi was taken aback, not only by the advice but by Jan's sincerity. She didn't know that she deserved such patience after treating Jan so poorly.

"I don't even know if she's interested. She had been living with a man after all. It isn't crazy to assume she'd be straight. What if I set myself up to fail?" Heat rose in Gigi's face. "I like her so much."

Jan smiled and patted their enclosed hands. "Don't give up hope just yet. I might be blowing smoke out my ass but...I've never heard Nicky talk about someone like she does with you." Gigi stared at Jan with wide eyes, her lips hanging open. Jan cleared her throat. "If anything, Nicky will always have you as a friend."

Gigi felt her shoulders slump. "That is what I'm afraid of."

\--

Once Jan had dropped Gigi off, she couldn't shake a fresh feeling of being a little unwanted. A little kicked to the curb. It was too familiar, and frankly, it stung. She sighed aloud as she started her car, backing up onto the road of the trailer park. 

She would find someone who appreciated her one day...Gigi was a fine new friend now that she knew why she'd been acting so disinterested. Gigi was gorgeous, and Jan had been instantly intimidated by her.

When Jan had come to pick her up, Gigi had opened her trailer door and looked like a lead in an old Hollywood film. She looked like a starlet with her long auburn hair billowing around her, her limbs all long and graceful. Jan was breathless.

But, much like her last failed date, it was like she was holding a conversation by herself.

Jan sighed again, not wanting to wallow in this too long. It was not like her to be so negative. Besides, she was helping Gigi, and she was happy to do so.

She just wondered when she would get the chance to be happy with someone.

Her car suddenly jerked, and her back wheel squealed against the road.

"Shit." A flat tire. Right now? Really?

Jan pressed her forehead to the steering wheel, cursing her luck. She didn't even have a spare! 

She hit her forehead to the wheel a few times for good measure.

She was right outside Gigi's place, so she could always call someone to fix it and wait with her. But there was no way a spare would be found at Gigi's, given her vehicle of choice was not the norm.

Jan got out of her car, alone on the gravel road of the trailer park. She put her hands on her hips, her throat becoming thick as she recounted her luck and stared at the tire.

It was cartoonishly flat.

Jan allowed herself a moment to crack after the long night. A tear slid down her cheek, and she bit her lip in distress. Her hair was a mess--her hair knot coming down in ribbons. Her white pumps were scuffed from the loose gravel. What a lame night.

She was just considering kicking the tire just to feel better, when she heard a door creak behind her--not in the direction of Gigi's trailer.

"Hello? Hi, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Jan's face grew hot and she scrubbed at her cheeks frantically before whipping around.

"Oh uhm--my tire is flat is all. I don't have a spare." Jan chuckled wetly. The stranger's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Let me see what I can do. I have a spare around back, let's see if it'll work." The stranger smiled, reaching up to pull her long dark hair into a scrunchie that'd been on her wrist. 

Jan felt a smile tug on her lips, one of the first non-forced ones all night. "Oh my gosh, that'd be great. You're an angel." 

The angel giggled and waved her off. "Not at all. I'm Jackie."

"I'm Jan."

\--

Gigi woke up to a knock on her front door. She didn't know what time it was, but since the sun outside looked golden and high, it was pretty late.

Gigi also had a pretty killer headache. After the horribly awkward night with Jan, she polished off her bottle of tequila and passed out half-way dressed in her date look.

She didn't want to think about how she snuffed out the bright sun that had been Jan's mood. She was funny, cute, clever, talented...and Gigi showed her a bad time because why?

She wasn't Nicky. And Gigi was the most useless, heart-eyed and cloudy-headed gay girl ever.

She stumbled out of bed, wearing boyshort underwear and her blouse from last night, rucked up to her ribs. She moaned at the clanging in her head, cursing the mailman or whoever dared knock on her door before noon on a Saturday.

She whipped open her door, instantly regretting not throwing something else on. Why did she not think it could possibly be Nicky?

"Woah! Someone had a crazy night!"

"Oh shit, Nicky!" Gigi hopped behind the door, her lucidity sparking hot and fast. Nicky laughed brightly as Gigi pressed a fist into her mascara-crusted eye. 

"So, did you have fun with Jan?" Nicky rocked on her heels, clearly amused by the mess that was Gigi Goode. The girl in question whined high in her throat.

"Why didn't you just text me?" 

Nicky smirked. "And miss out on this? Not a chance. Maybe it'll teach you not to answer the door in your panties too."

Gigi flushed hotly at Nicky mentioning her undergarments. She pressed her head to the edge of the open door and looked at Nicky in her gay, gay misery.

Nicky looked super cute, of course. She was wearing a black and white striped sweater tucked into some khakis, and had a bolt of bright red tied around her neck. "Well, I was going to see if you wanted to come over for dinner later and talk about the date if you aren't hung over by then." She made a show of looking at her wrist like a watch was there. Which there wasn't. She tilted her head with a wink.

What a dork.

Gigi could easily count many ways why this was a bad idea, but she heard herself agreeing anyway so she could finally go put some clothes on. Nicky happily waved goodbye and bounced off her porch, and Gigi had to shut the door quickly as to not watch her walk away.

She was happy that Nicky was acting like Gigi didn't sporadically ghost her this week, but she was realizing she couldn't really talk about Jan much. They'd only had a few bites of dinner before it blew up and Gigi talked about Nicky.

Oh god. She couldn't talk about why the date crashed and burned. _Oh, it didn't work out because I'm head over heels for you, Nicky. Didn't you know?_  
She would have to be really good at deflecting any talk about the date. Which was...well, why she and Nicky would be hanging out. So it would be hard, to say the least.

Gigi wondered if she could just say she was too hung over to get out of bed ever again. Would Nicky go for that?

Probably not.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Thank you as always for reading this story; the comments and even seeing the hits increase motivates me so much! 
> 
> Thank youuu!!

Gigi realized she'd really missed Nicky. It had only been a few days, but that familiar warmth in her heart felt so sweet after such a weird week.

Nicky was currently giggling, the two of them standing in her tiny kitchen brandishing fondue sticks. When Gigi had come over, Nicky told her they would just be dipping meat into cheese because that seemed like dinner, right? Gigi just laughed, feeling a phantom weight lift from her shoulders.

Nicky swirled her stick in the cheese thoughtfully. "So, about this date..."

Gigi tensed up, trying to prepare whatever lie she would need, even if it killed her to do. Especially to Nicky.

"Did you like Jan? She is super nice, isn't she?"

Gigi nodded, her fingers dancing around her own skewer stick. "Yeah, uhm. I don't know if we'll see each other again, though. Romantically, at least." Nicky looked at her with wide eyes.

"What? Why? What happened?" Gigi sighed at that.

"I just don't think we clicked, you know? I don't think I am what she's looking for."

"Whaaaat? She is super fun, optimistic--and you! How could someone not love you? You are so gorgeous, and so so sweet. You're perfect."

Gigi could practically feel the steam coming out of her scalp. She quickly turned away from Nicky's unwavering sincerity to pour herself some water. "I don't know about that."

"It's true! You are...the best person I've met here in America, I think." The way Nicky said it...was slow and thoughtful. Gigi focused on a chip in the paint on Nicky's cupboard door, desperately chugging her water in lieu of responding.

"Hey." 

Gigi startled when Nicky had come close, her hand gentle on her shoulder. She could smell the perfume from her dream right before her. Nicky smiled softly, unaware of her effect as always.

"I was just excited for you two is all. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I am glad you guys gave it a try though." Gigi nodded, her mouth still in the glass. Nicky backed away, her grasp gently guiding the glass away from Gigi's lips. The taller girl looked at her, slight terror in her gut.

"I sometimes wonder if you don't know how amazing you are, Gigi. You're great." Nicky whispered.

Gigi wet her lips, wondering if Nicky realized how close they were right now. Their fingers brushed as they both held onto the cup.

"Nicky..."

Nicky hummed in response, her fingers brushing some stray bangs from Gigi's face. The taller girl exhaled shakily. She couldn't stop her eyes from flicking to Nicky's lips. Nicky tilted her head just so, and Gigi felt weak in the knees. She stuttered out an exhale.

"Oh, Gigi, are you alright? You look flushed." Gigi almost cried out when Nicky pressed her hand to Gigi's forehead. She blushed fiercely when she felt herself lean into the touch so hungrily; Nicky's palm cool on her hot skin. 

God, she couldn't do this to herself. She was about to kiss Nicky, she really was. And then where would that leave her? Without Nicky at all.

"I-I have to go." Gigi pulled away from Nicky, snatching her jacket off the kitchen table chair. She could feel Nicky's startled confusion radiating from her. "I feel kind of sick."

Nicky clasped her hands, hot on Gigi's heels as she headed for the door. "Oh, well alright. I hope you feel better soon, I--"

With one hand on the doorknob, Gigi's free hand was suddenly full of another smooth palm. She let out a stuttered sigh. Nicky really was torturing her and she didn't know what to do. "Let me know if I can bring you anything, okay?"

Gigi turned to Nicky to see her blue eyes bright in the dimmed light of the trailer. Her once smoothed-back hair had a single platinum strand hanging over her brow. Gigi wanted so badly to tuck it behind her ear...maybe even cradle her head in one movement. The concern on her face made Gigi's heart pinch uncomfortably.

"Okay." Gigi had a crack in her armor, and pulled Nicky to her into an embrace before she could resist.

Nicky eagerly threw her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. Her short hair was soft against Gigi's cheek. She vaugely felt her shoulder throb from holding the blonde woman.

Nicky's hand traced down Gigi's spine, rubbing gently. Gigi's touch-starved self absolutely shuddered in pleasure, to her dismay.

The taller woman melted, feeling her eyes prick at the thought that she could never have this lovely person. She closed her eyes against the sudden tears, and pressed her mouth to Nicky's temple, in what she would deny as a kiss, but definitely was.

"Thank you, Nicky. I think you're perfect too."

And within moments, Nicky was alone in her living room, the cool spring night borrowing space in the air as Gigi left.

Nicky wrapped her arms around herself, missing the warmth she'd just shared. She hadn't felt that...in a long time. If ever.

Nicky felt her heartbeat in her throat, a jitter in her kneecaps.

She went back to the kitchen to clean up, and tried not to think about how Gigi's thin body felt pressed against hers, or how smooth her skin was, or how warm her arms were.

Nicky tried not to focus on the tiny kiss that Gigi had pressed to her temple, either. Something wiggled in the back of her memory, and Nicky didn't really know what she was meant to feel. But her blushing cheeks sure told her something.

\--

Nicky's Sunday was pretty uneventful until around noon. She was failing to get Gigi out of her mind, so she dusted off her sketchbook holding her fashion concepts.

She never went to fashion school, but from what she'd seen in magazines, she just liked to draw ideas down for herself. She didn't know how to sew, but it was nice to put ideas on paper.

She began sketching a woman with auburn hair, a green gown and a motorcycle jacket when she heard a car driving down the road.

Part of her hoped it was Gigi--she didn't know her schedule but assumed she worked today. However, when she peered outside, she was shocked to see a blue Volkswagen bug outside. There was a familiar cheerleading pom-pom decal on the back window.

That was...Jan's car.

In front of Jackie's trailer. 

_What?_

Nicky peered through the window, keeping her head low because she wasn't sure what she was going to see here.

Jan stepped out of her bug, and she looked...great. Like, this wasn't P.E. teacher Jan. This was sparkly, fabulous, make-a-good-impression Jan.

Her hair was straight down her back, a sheet of glimmering platinum flowing behind her.  
She had a spring dress smattered in lavender and periwinkles. She wore a bomber jacket on top of it all, and a tiny white backpack as a purse.

She hopped up Jackie's porch, and Nicky's heart warmed at Jan's little smile even without knowing she was being watched.

Jackie answered the door, wearing from what Nicky could see--a soft sherberty shift dress with a chunky emerald cardigan. Her normally banana-clipped updo was replaced with cascading dark waves around her bashful expression. Nicky couldn't remember Jackie looking so nice, either.

Nicky about fell off her couch when Jan and Jackie...kissed on her front porch.  
How did Jan and Jackie know each other? Was it somehow from Gigi's failed date?

Either way, Nicky couldn't wait to ask Jan on Monday. And hopefully not reveal that she knew because she was spying on her.

Knowing Jan, and seeing how smitten she looked opening the car door for Jackie, she would burst through the doors on Monday singing about it anyway.

Nicky watched the car drive down the street, a smile still lingering on her lips. She returned to her drawing, checking the road for any activity when she thought she heard anything else.

\--

Nicky huffed a sigh and looked at her pile of paperwork on her desk on Monday morning. She had been hoping for a light workload today because she just had too much on her mind.

She couldn't quit thinking about Gigi and her behavior on Saturday night. As soon as Nicky got physically close to her, she left like she'd been offended or something. Maybe she really was sick? Who knew.

Nicky tapped her pen onto a pile of folders, blowing a stray hair from her forehead. She was just about to actually thumb through her work when she heard some manic foot steps approach.

A smirk pulled on her lips in the last millesecond of silence before her name was called. "Nicky!!"

Jan breathlessly stopped her brisk march against Nicky's cubicle wall, her almond shaped nails curling around it in excitement. "Nicky! I. Had. The best. Weekend. Ever!"

Nicky blinked, trying to act coy. As far as Jan knew, Nicky was only aware of her date with Gigi, and not a certain Persian beauty.

"Oh! Did the date with Gigi go well?"  
Jan leaned back and blew a raspberry and crossed her eyes.

"Girl! Gigi is literally a goddess but we will not be a thing. She's awesome but no." Jan was talking so fast that Nicky could barely keep up.

"You won't believe it! I met someone and it was straight up like a romantic movie!" Jan clapped and literally danced in place. "Get this; I get a flat after dropping off Gigi. I already feel horrible, right? No one will ever love me and I will die alone. That whole schtick." Jan waved off Nicky's very real face of wide-eyed concern.

"Anyway! Gigi's neighbor helps me out, and we literally spent all weekend together after. Her name is Jackie. Do you know her?"

Nicky smirked and nodded. "Yes I sure do. She is lovely."

"So lovely! So! Lovely!" Jan all but shouted, some of the other teachers now giving them glares. Nicky chuckled. 

"Listen Jan, let's have lunch later, okay? I want to hear everything but someone is gonna shoot us here." Nicky grabbed for one of Jan's flailing arms.

The blonde women laughed a little self-conciously. "Oh, right. Right."

"But I am so happy for you Jan. I will see you at noon, okay? Get ready to weave me a tale." Nicky stood to give Jan a hug, and the girl couldn't help herself. Jan giggled and picked up the petite woman, giving her a twirl. The two were laughing hysterically--and getting even more glares.

\--

"So." Nicky announced, pulling out her salad and some juice from her tote bag, "We have fourty-five minutes and a lot to cover, Miss Jan."

Jan was practically bouncing in her seat. Nicky had thought Jan was enthusiastic before Jackie, but this was a whole other level.

"Jackie is the nicest person ever! And so cute, and caring--ugh. She fixed my car, which, uhm--hot, and then we ended up talking until 3 am? I didn't wanna leave!" Jan exclaimed, unwrapping her sandwich. Nicky wondered if she would even be given the chance to eat if she spoke this fast the whole period.

Nicky also wanted to ask about the date with Gigi. She wanted to hear about what happened from Jan's perspective, more than she cared to say.

"Anyway, I stayed over, and Jackie was a perfect lady and made me breakfast the next day. And then! She asked me to join her at the farmer's market on Sunday! Oh my gosh Nicky she got me flowers at this stand, just ugh!" 

Jan took a moment to catch her breath, and it was Nicky's in. "So, guess it is good that Gigi and you didn't click, huh?"

Jan looked thoughtful and popped a grape in her mouth. "Gigi wasn't all there...with me. You know? Her mind was elsewhere." Jan fluttered her fingers and shrugged. 

"What do you mean?" Nicky asked softly. Was there something wrong with Gigi? It must've been important if it distracted her from the constantly-burning firecracker that was Jan.

Jan sighed, bleeding it into a low hum. "Nicky, what do you think of Gigi?"

Nicky didn't get what that had anything to do with it. She blinked nearly rapidly.

"I--I adore Gigi. She is so kind, and sweet and funny. And beautiful. So I guess I don't know what happened because you are, too!" Nicky stuttered out.

Jan smiled like she knew something that Nicky didn't. "Sure I am. Listen, what are you doing this weekend?"

Nicky gaped like a very confused fish. "Why are you being so weird and vauge?" 

Jan basically ignored her question--again--and leaned in close to whisper excitedly, "Jackie is taking me to the Spring Festival! Isn't that so fun? We will get to do all the cute date things like ferris wheels and cotton candy--ooh!"

Jan cut her own self off, and Nicky was still trying to cut in as well. There was so stopping an excitable Jan.

"Nicky! Ask Gigi if she wants to come! We can all go together!"

Nicky's head was swimming now. "What? Why? Wouldn't that be awkward for you? You just said she was acting weird on your date, by the way--"

"But you guys are close! Then we can hang out without weird third-wheel feelings." Jan nodded to herself and it already seemed decided.

Nicky couldn't think of a solid reason why not. Gigi was friends with Jackie, Jackie was seeing Jan. Nicky sighed.

"Sure, yeah I will ask Gigi and see if she's free." Jan did a tiny cheer and shook her open hands with wiggling spirit fingers. 

"Yay!"

Nicky felt an odd feeling curl in her belly. Fried food, lights, ferris wheels...didn't sound too bad. Especially with the thought of Gigi being there.

Jan definitely spotted the tiny smile on Nicky's lips as she packed up her lunch. She flipped her long blonde ponytail over her shoulder with a private grin of her own.

Gigi definitely owed her a funnel cake for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey heyyy! I am also gonna share the Between Two Trailers playlist, which I play/get inspired by when I write new material! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0UUNPpLSDytclSJTcTsIDP?si=7a5w52q6RdaGDsOLcdKrgg


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Thank you for reading, I can NOT say it enough! 
> 
> Kind of a short in-betweener chapter, but I hope u still enjoy!!

Jan was sitting in her Volkswagen, about to turn the key and head home from work when she got an incoming call.

It was Jackie. 

Jan hummed to herself happily, tapping her knees together.  
Yes, they'd only known eachother a couple of days, but Jan was so smitten with Jackie.

When Jackie had found Jan, she was at her worst. Not her cheerful, optimistic self. She was tired, messy, and tear stained.

But Jackie, a total stranger, had held her hand, pushed Jan's hair from her eyes and smiled at her. Jan hadn't allowed herself to even hope for it, but after hours of chatting with the dark haired beauty, Jan nervously let her eyes linger on Jackie for as long as she felt she was allowed.

Jackie had only smiled more, wiped the tears from her eyes and listened. Made her some hot cocoa. Listened to Jan when she felt like no one was.

Jan was ready to leave with a new friend at least, but when Jackie hugged her goodbye and kissed her cheek, she allowed herself to hope again. Jackie felt like a warm hug at all times, and Jan already wanted to be completely intertwined with her life.

Jan answered the call from her biggest girl crush yet and almost-girlfriend.

"Hell-ooo?"

"Hi Jan." She could practically hear the cute smirk in Jackie's voice.

"Hey gorgeous. What's up?"

"Oh, not much. Knew you were getting off work soon so I thought I'd call. Did you ask Nicky about the festival?" Jackie asked.

Jan played with the slightly fried ends of her blonde hair. "Yep! We are all good to go. Operation Gigi Plus Nicky is in effect!"

"Perfect!" Jackie giggled. "And how about Operation Jan Plus Jackie...?" 

Jan blinked and chuckled. "I don't know if I know about that plan just yet. Enlighten me?"

Jackie laughed over the line. It was always all giggles between them and Jan loved it.

"Why don't you come over and I will let you in on the details." 

Jan swallowed, a blush coloring her cheeks. Jackie really had her hand around her heart already, and even though it scared her, Jackie had a caring grip. She wouldn't let her shatter.

"Sure thing. See you in twenty."

\--

**"Hey Gigi. How are you feeling?"**

Gigi fell back onto her bed with a groan when she saw Nicky's text. She had a full-body cringe remembering how she fucking kissed Nicky's head and ran off the other night. She was such a spazz.

Plus, she'd lied to Nicky about her health, and made her worry. Further solidifying her own dumb-assery. She texted back a reply.

**"I'm ok now! Probably just nauseous from being hung over for so long. :') How was work?"**

Gigi laid on her bed in her sports bra and panties--dreading summer because it was just a warm spring day and she was in a hot box. This tin trailer did not handle heat well at all.

Gigi'd had the breakfast shift so she got off work around two, and basically had been staring at her pocked ceiling since.

Her cell phone chimed.

**"Work was good! Do you think I could call? Nothing serious, just a lot to type out. :)"**

Even though Nicky explicitly said it wasn't serious, Gigi's anxiety spiked. What could Nicky want? Gigi didn't really talk to...anyone on the phone in this day and age really. She typed out her approval and received an incoming call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Miss Gigi! How's your day been?"

Gigi instantly bit her lip to fight a smile at Nicky's sweet voice. God, she was cute.

"Fine, I think I am melting in this heat though. How are you surviving?"

Nicky giggled. "Look outside!"

Gigi hopped on her knees on her mattress and pulled back her tacked-on curtain.

Nicky probably couldn't see her, but Gigi could see Nicky sitting on her porch in a plastic chair, looking fabulous and needlessly charming.

She was wearing a white cover-up dress and had a paper fan in one hand, and the phone in her other. A little glass of tea or wine or something else was next to her bare feet.

She waved her fan in Gigi's trailer's direction with a grin. Gigi could see her red-lipped smile from here, curling under her cat-eye sunglasses.

"You look cute." Gigi almost regretted it, but it was just too true. Nicky giggled again.

"It's fucking hot!" 

Gigi rolled back onto her bed, feeling like a girl from a commercial in the 90's, all she needed was a cord to twirl in her fingers. "It is!"

"So. I have a proposition for you."

Gigi nibbled on her lip, her back suddenly itchy from the sweat.

"Okay, shoot."

"So, Jan and Jackie are gonna go on a date to the Spring Festival, and they invited me to come along. I don't super wanna be a third wheel, so I was wondering if you would come too? You know most of those rides have two-seat spots."

Gigi was instantly flooded with all the rom-com fantasies. Winning Nicky an ugly stuffed bear at the ring toss, sharing snow cones, riding the ferris wheel-- "I would love to."

"Oh, yay!" Nicky sounded breathless. "I'm excited! I hope you like the scary rides because I want to go on all of them."

Gigi scoffed. "You will be the death of me, Nicky. Can't we just watch other people barf and we'll just eat greasy food and laugh?" Nicky didn't need to know how much she was smiling though.

Maybe Nicky would even hold her hand if she got scared. Gigi grinned into her bedspread, wiggling like a shy school girl.

"No! We have to seek all the thrills! It'll be so fun, I promise. Plus, I've never been to one of these in America." Nicky said.

"Oh, okay. If you say so."

"I'm excited."

"Me too, Nicky."

When Gigi hung up, she tried to forget about overthinking and focus on the idea of having fun with her friends. She was getting too wrapped up in her own nonsense.

She heard the low roar of a familiar motorcycle, and hopped back on her knees to peek out the window.

She caught a glimpse of Widow on her bike, kicking up a dust cloud down the road. She hadn't seen her in about two weeks, since the thrift store debaucle.

Nicky waved at Widow as she powered on by, which she responded to with a nod. Gigi could thank Widow just for making Nicky smile again.

Widow often stayed with her boyfriend on the other side of town, and was probably making her way home again. Gigi owed her an apology for being so snappy before, and she did miss her friend quite a bit. 

Gigi grabbed her phone. They had a lot of catching up to do.

\--

**W:"So, you are admitting to yourself how you kinda suck at actually dating people."**

****

****

**"Yes."**

**W: "And that you have a huge crush on Nicky and want to impress her."**

**"Yeahhhhh :/"**

**W: "And that I was right all along?"**

**"Fuck, yes, Widow!!!"**

**W:"Ok just checking ;)))) you gonna get your bony butt over here or what?"**

Gigi threw on a baggy white shirt and some yoga pants, grabbing a fresh 6-pack of wine coolers she just got (originally for herself) for good measure. A peace offering never hurt.

Gigi pulled her hair into a bun on her head, kind of satisfied with the slight unruliness of it. Auburn tendrils framed her face and she couldn't resist reaching for some lipgloss too.

She was a little dissapointed that Nicky was no longer on her porch when she exited the trailer. She made her way to Widow's place, rapping on the door moments later.

Widow answered the door right away, wearing a navy tank top and jean shorts. Her beautiful tattoo work was on full display on the smooth expanse of her shoulders and collarbones.

One eyebrow was arched comically high, her painted lips in a smirk.

"Well, well, well Miss Goode. I see you brought me a little something."

Gigi shrugged. "I have personal woes and alcohol. Isn't that the password to enter?" Widow laughed and motioned her in.

"You know it is, babe."

Gigi ended up telling Widow about everything--the failed date with Jan, nearly kissing Nicky and running off, the festival, and the recent development of Jackie's involvement too.

Widow swallowed a swig from her bottle. "You really really like this girl, huh?"

Gigi kneaded her temple. "Sadly."

"It isn't sad to catch the feelings, Gigi. Just means you're human like the rest of us."

"Ugh, how dare you insinuate such a thing." The two chuckled.

"So you know you better woo her at this festival, then? Like a normal person? And not freak the fuck out and make her wanna kill you?" 

Gigi slumped in her seat. There was only the whir of the multiple fans in the living room (hot as hell like her own place was) to fill the pause.

"I want to. I really want to just...be there for her. Be her girlfriend. Kiss her. But I still don't know if she is even attracted to me. That is kind of a deal breaker." Gigi clapped her hands together softly for emphasis. Widow blew a raspberry.

"Gender and sexuality aren't defined, my dear friend. You are so cute, girl, if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would even jump your bones." 

Gigi barked out a laugh and wiped her sweat-damp brow. "Thanks, Widow."

"You have my blessing, Gigi. You may persue Nicky, given she is okay with it-- you have all my good vibes." Widow made silly motions of plucking the air and splattering them at Gigi, who was chuckling warmly.

Maybe it was the drinks, maybe she was overheating, but she had a soft cloudiness in her mind that seemed to assure her that things would be okay.

It had to be okay. It had to be.

\--

Gigi hadn't been to the Spring Festival in years.

She had first gone shortly after she moved into town. She remembered making out with a redheaded girl behind the row of food trucks and being felt-up by a curvy, raven haired woman in the same night. 

So, she hadn't really been paying attention to the rides and food that time.

She walked up to the ticket stand, a couple of minutes early. She was supposed to meet with the other three girls here.

It was another decently hot day for Spring, and Gigi had to dress both accordingly and cutely.

She wore a black romper with a silver chain belt, something chic and easy to move in. She'd teased her auburn hair to curve away from her face in glittery waves, and topped it all off with white graphic liner and ruby red lips.

She hoped that the hours of working on her look would catch Nicky's eye for even a moment. It would make it all worth it.

"Gigi!"

The thin girl turned to see Jan and Jackie, the former dragging the other by their intwined hands.

Jan wore a pastel pink babydoll top that flounced around her tan arms with little shorts, her blonde hair in a half-up. She was all sparkles and smiles, even moreso (if possible) than when they'd first met.

Jackie smiled brightly, her yellow go-go boots clomping in the matted grass. She was wearing a simple, comfortable black and white A-line dress with capri leggings. Her hair was in a ponytail, the dark curls so thick that they caught against her shoulders.

"Hey, guys!" Gigi exclaimed. Jan laughed breathlessly.

"Who is ready for gut bombs and free falling?" Jan chirped. Gigi chuckled nervously.

"Maybe Jackie and I will just watch Jan and Nicky go on all the intense rides." Gigi offered. Jackie seemed to be fine with that, but Jan leaned into her side and shook her head.

"Ohh no you don't, Jacqueline! You took me here specifically to hold my hand and scream at the top of your lungs with me." Jackie's eyes were so soft that Gigi felt like she should look away.

"I intend to." Jan grinned at that.  
A familiar voiced laced in the sweetest accent caught in Gigi's ear.

"Oh no! Am I late? You Americans are always so early to everything."

Gigi wanted to roll her eyes at how perfect Nicky was looking right now. Really, how fucking dare she.

"Maybe you are just late to everything, Nicky!" Jan laughed. "You ever think of that?"

The petite woman laughed as she approached. Nicky's hair was a little different than her normal back-swept 'do. Her bangs were down, a silvery curtain curling around her face.

She had a green spaghetti-strapped dress on with leggings, and the dress had little sparkles woven into the sheer fabric. She looked otherworldly, like she didn't quite belong amongst the flip flops and beer ads on tee shirts around them.

She ran into Jan's open arms, and when Gigi caught her eye, her lower lip hung open a little lax, like she was thinking of something to say. Gigi just smiled and waved.

"Hey."

Nicky reached up a hand, almost like she was going to touch Gigi's hair, but withdrew (to the taller girl's dismay). "Hey."

Then, Jan was clapping and ushering everyone to the ticket line, bouncing in her blue Keds.

Nicky bumped her hand against Gigi's, and she had to tuck her chin to her shoulder so Nicky wouldn't see her cheeks pinken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are ready for some Spring Festival Shenanigans!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyoo!!  
> Thank u for coming back to this silly story of mine, as always! Please excuse any errors nwkzkoouqkak and also I LOVE YOUUU!
> 
> Buckle upppp it's gonna be a bumpy ride! ;)

Immediately, the four girls slotted themselves into a line for The Scrambler--basically Disney Teacups on Redbull. Gigi knew it was a medium-thrill level ride, but she was still nervous for her sensitive belly.

Jan and Jackie slid into the pod fit for four, the chorus of cheers a bit overwhelming. Nicky bounced in her seat and smiled brilliantly. "You ready?" Gigi just smiled weakly.

The ride was a flurry of humid air, squeals and seeing people's blurred faces. Jan and Nicky giggled and shrieked with glee, but Gigi met Jackie's slightly shaken expression more than once. Gigi hobbled off the ride, her mouth feeling spit-heavy. Nicky trotted behind her, tucking her wild blonde bangs behind her ear.

"Are you getting sick already, Goode? I'm surprised!" Gigi waved her off.

"I just have to pace myself is all."

Jan and Jackie were pointing to The Ring of Fire next, and Gigi about keeled over. It was a huge circle with one huge cart running the wheel...meaning it went upside down. And hung there. In place.

"You can do it, Gigi! I know you can!" Jan was cheering, but even Jackie looked a little pale.

A few minutes in line had Gigi thinking differently. "Fuck, fuck. I'm just gonna watch, guys, sorry--" Nicky held out an arm so Gigi wouldn't bolt.

"Please, Gigi? After this I will buy you a snow cone. Plus, you get next ride pick." Nicky insisted, and if it was anyone else, Gigi'd leave them in the dust.

"A double snow cone? I can never chose between strawberry and blue raspberry." Gigi said. Nicky scoffed. "Well obviously."

The banter made Gigi forget that they were next in line, and her stomach practically dropped out of her butt. 

Jackie breathing in deeply like she was preparing for labor wasn't helping either. She and Jan were being seated behind Nicky and Gigi.

"Shit, shit shit. Nicky, I fucking hate you." Gigi said through gritted teeth as the ride worker locked in their cross-body guards.

"You'll be fine, Gigi. If you get scared, just close your eyes and scream as loud as you can." Gigi shot her a look, but Nicky looked so coy and confident amd cute that Gigi didn't feel like cussing her out anymore.

The ride clanged into movement, and Gigi cried out in surprise, her hands white-knuckling on her padded shoulder guards. "Here we go!" Jan called out.

"Oh God oh God oh God--"  
"Throw your hands up! Yeah!"

Jan and Jackie were shouting in stark different tones, and Nicky was just smiling. Gigi was trying not to bite a hole in her lip as the cart travelled up until the festival was above their heads. Gigi felt her hair flying up vertically.

Gigi felt her stomach drop and lift, her bones rattle and her ears pop. Her jaw was clenched so tight, and by the second loop around, Nicky was shrieking around a smile and laughter. She was loving it.

"Scream with me Gigi! It's fun! Aaaahhh!"

The cute thing to do would be to join Nicky in light-hearted hollering and enjoying the ride. But Gigi was past that, and let her lungs express her terror.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Nicky had never seen someone open their mouth so wide. She laughed almost in shock, and screamed with her friend joyfully.

"Wooo!"  
"FUUUCCCCKKKK!!"

Gigi faintly heard Nicky's peals of laughter. "Holy shit Gigi!"

"FUCK YOU NICKY!"

"You guys, stop cursing!" Jan squealed.

The ride finally ended, and Nicky made cooing noises between snickers when she saw Gigi. The taller girl was normally so poised and perfect from head to toe, but right now her hair was a nest of windblown tresses, and her nose was flared and her shoulders hunched.

When Nicky saw her hands trembling, the teasing lessened. "You okay, Gigi? Here, unlock your claws." Nicky gently pried her stiff fingers from her guards, shocked she hadn't poked holes in the industrial fabric.

Jan and Nicky were the handlers of the other two girls, all four of them varied degrees of wobbly and frazzled.

"That was such a rush!" Jan said, rubbing Jackie's upper arm as she shakily fixed her hair. Jan hugged her and muttered something about bravery.

"Y-you owe me a snow cone." Gigi said shortly, mostly because she needed a break and to sit. Now. Nicky smiled and nodded. "I sure do. Ladies, you want one?"

"Jan and I are gonna grab something salty instead. Catch you guys in a bit?" Jackie said. Nicky nodded and the two groups parted.

"Thanks for getting on the death machine with me." Nicky chirped. Gigi glared at her, but with half a smile.

"So you do realize how terrifying that was."

"You were so brave though! I'm so proud." Nicky looped an arm around Gigi in a half hug, and the taller girl had to tell herself not to follow her when she pulled away.

The girls got their chilled treats, and settled onto a picnic table with napkins and spoons.

The sun was starting to set since the girls had arrived around dinner time. Gigi had worked a shift today (which sadly, overlapped with Crystal, otherwise she would probably be invited to the festival as well). The grass around them was gold and the sky was turning pink. Nicky was excited to see the park alight when the sky was totally dark.

"Your gut still inside out?" Nicky asked. Gigi rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"I think it is back to normal, thanks. You having fun?" Gigi poked her crystalized blue syrup.

Nicky smiled and nodded. "Yes! The rides and everything here are so cute. And Jan and Jackie are so sweet together, it is great to hang with them." She nibbled on her spoon. "You look really nice today, by the way."

Gigi took a big glob of snow cone in her mouth for time to think of a reply.

"Thanks. You look cute too, Nicky. Really...really pretty." Gigi knew she said too much when Nicky's bright eyes flashed to her, a bit surprised. Before she could reply, Gigi blurted, "So, how about the Yo-Yo next? That one shouldn't be too intense."

Gigi pointed across the hills, to a ride with seats of two hanging on chains like swings, spinning around lazily over the glittering lights of the park. Gigi wouldn't lose her lunch on that one, and she could be pressed against Nicky's side the whole time.

A bit of wind tugged at Nicky's bangs, and she smiled, the orange light painted on her cheek. "Let's do it."

\--

"Well, would you look at that?" Jackie said with a smirk.

"Hmm?" Jan hummed, turning from the concession stand with a brick of garlic fries, two forks sticking from it.

Jan slotted into Jackie's side (it really was a perfect fit) with her head on the burnette's shoulder and giggled. "Looks like the operation is going just as planned."

Jan and Jackie could see Gigi and Nicky stepping up on a nearby platform to strap into the Yo-Yo ride, which was just a slightly faster Ferris Wheel ride, truly.

Perfect for couples.

Jackie smiled to herself as she watched Gigi help Nicky into her seat, their hands clasped together briefly as Nicky adjusted the bottom of her dress to sit. Gigi slid in next to her, their lips moving silently as Jan and Jackie watched from afar.

Nicky was grinning as Gigi spoke while flailing her hands and making expressions. Perhaps she was recounting another carnival experience.

"They are so cute. And so silly; totally oblivious!" Jan said, chewing on a fry. Jackie smoothed a hand over Jan's blonde locks.

"I know someone else cute and silly. And I would love to eat some greasy fries and people-watch with her." Jackie bopped her hip into Jan's.

Jan blushed and tilted her face to Jackie's, who had a tiny kiss waiting for her.

\--  
"Are you afraid of heights?" Nicky asked as the ride lifted into the air. Gigi shook her head.

"I mean, when we are barreling at 50 miles an hour or whatever and hanging upside down? Yes. But this is fine." Gigi kicked her heels as they dangled far above the park ground. The ride gained speed but it just felt like they were flying.

"Ah, I love this! You can see everything! Good choice, Gigi." Nicky leaned in her seat, her eyes sparkling as they whirred around in their seats. Her hair trailed around her delicate face, and Gigi had to tear her eyes away before she got caught staring.

She rested her hands on the silver bar in front of them and felt a smile on her lips. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, letting the wind comb through her hair.

She filled her lungs with the air of this moment,--Spring bleeding into Summer, the faraway fresh-cut grass, the edge of Nicky's perfume on her smooth skin.

"Enjoying yourself?" Nicky said softly. Gigi opened her eyes and just nodded, her own hair a tornado around them.

Nicky's hand pressed next to hers on the silver bar handle. To Gigi's shock, her pinky finger lifted to slot into hers. Nicky looked at their hands with an almost satisfied smile, and turned back to the view.

Gigi dared not move, her single pinky being intertwined with Nicky's was enough to warm her whole body. The didn't speak much after that, but their pinkies stayed where they were until the ride stopped.

\--  
Jan and Jackie were waiting on a bench near the exit of the Yo-Yo ride. Nicky and Gigi helped them pick through theur fried brick of calories and they were on to the next ride.

The sun was dipping lower as they stepped off The Gravitron, and Gigi surprisingly felt fine. Nicky hopped down the ramp, giving her a thumbs-up.

"No barf yet!" She chirped. Gigi was about to quip back, but then Jan and Jackie trailed behind them amd the taller looked almost green.

"Jackie, you okay?" Gigi asked. Jackie grimaced and waved her hand, breaking from Jan's comforting half-embrace. 

"I might be sick--unf!" Jackie managed, before running behind the ride for the nearest trash can. Jan looked pretty guilty, as she had requested this ride. 

"We are gonna go find some water and take a breather. I'll text you Nicky, when we are back at it; okay?" Jan suggested, already making a beeline to a distressed Jackie. Nicky and Gigi could hear Jackie retching and Jan's concerned voice.

Nicky turned to Gigi, her palms up. "So, where to, captain?"

Gigi's heart fluttered high in her chest, and it felt like butterflies would fly from her throat. "How about the ferris wheel?"

Nicky was already clapping and grinning.  
"You read my mind."

\--

By the time they made it through the line for the ferris wheel, the sun was gone and the sky was navy. The flourescent lights reflected pink, green and orange against the paleness of Nicky's hair and eyes.

Gigi tried to hide her trembling hands in the pockets of her romper when they finally got into their double-seater. It was very much like the Yo-Yo ride, but there was no denying the tradition and idea of this ride being romantic.

Nicky put a steadying hand on Gigi's elbow as she slid in the seat beside her, the two just giggling to giggle. Nicky cheered as their feet lifted from the loading platform and they began to ascend.

Nicky hummed quietly. "This might be weird to bring up, but did you know that Jackie was...you know? Not straight? I still can't believe she and Jan found each other."

Gigi shrugged (her bare arm rubbed against Nicky's soft skin). "Jackie doesn't talk about her past much. I think she actually was married once, to a man. They only stayed together for a while to appease their parents, but they both wanted out. I think she moved to the park after that; she was there before me is all I know." Gigi sighed. "She probably wanted to be alone, thought she needed to be. Maybe, once you feel like you've been trapped in a relationship like that, you forget about anything but the inside. I don't think Jackie expected to date a woman, but Jan's light was too strong to resist, you know?"

Nicky looked at Gigi long enough for the taller girl to raise an eyebrow at her. "Well, you resisted Jan's light. It is possible." Nicky said in a rather flat tone.

"Jan's light wasn't for me. It's different."

"Okay." Nicky said softly. Gigi bit the inside of her cheek, feeling somehow like she needed to explain herself, but Nicky spoke first.

"Jan said that you had something else on your mind when you were on the date with her."

Shit. Why would Jan tell her that? Gigi swallowed thickly.

"Is everything okay, Gigi? I feel like you've been kind of shifty lately, especially after Saturday."  
Gigi was already near-bursting at the seams, but then Nicky took her hand in hers. Her skin was warm and smooth.

"Y-you hold my hand a lot, Nicky."

"It's because I like you."

"Is it?" Gigi whispered, turning to face Nicky fully. Nicky's eyes were sharp and slightly guarded--and waited for Gigi to speak further. "You know that I am...attracted to women. And I just. You're attractive. Very much. To me."  
The sigh of relief that Gigi breathed was almost a sob.

Nicky's whole face was pink, her eyes wide and a little glassy. "Gigi..."

"I-I'm sorry. I just had to tell you. I'm also sorry that you are kinda...stuck with me now on this ride." Gigi's voice was trembling beyond her control, but Nicky was holding her hand tightly still. "God, I fucked this up."

"Gigi."

She waited for Nicky to say something, but Nicky didn't speak. She really just looked at the girl before her.

Gigi's big, beautiful eyes looked starry, and held the carnival colors in them. Her eyebrows were knitted together, and her mouth was slightly open, like she waa trying to push a sentence out. Her sunset colored hair waved around her face in the evening breeze.

Gigi was beautiful, kind, sweet, funny. She cared about Nicky. The blonde didn't even realize how close she was getting to Gigi's face until she could count her eyelashes.

She felt Gigi's hand gently on the juncture of her jawline, and a shiver ran through her. Gigi smelled like fresh linen and sweet citrus. It was wonderful.

"Nicky, can I kiss you?"

Nicky wanted to scream yes. She wanted Gigi, and only Gigi, to hold her and kiss her. Surround her and support her. The realization was vivid and staggering to her. A gasp lodged in her throat, and her heartbeat was strong enough to roar in her ears.

 _Kiss her. Kiss Gigi_...Nicky wanted to. Why wasn't she leaning into this gorgeous girl? Gigi was tilting her jaw gently with her hand, Nicky's head a heavy weight in her grasp.

_Say yes. Kiss her._

_I feel sorry for you._ _Nicolette._ _Why would you chose a life like that? One where you would never really know love?_

"I can't." Nicky whispered. 

The words suspended themselves in the sky, left as a thin whisper in the midnight air. _I can't._

Gigi froze, her hand moving from Nicky like it was burned. She gasped thickly, and a fat tear fell from her eye almost immediately. Her hand twisted jerkily away from Nicky's grasp. "Oh." 

Nicky already felt her heart shattering, her eyes watering. What had she done? "Gigi, I'm so sorry, I--"

"Don't. Please." Gigi grimaced, a truly broken sound leaving her throat, like an agonized groan mixed with a sob. She pressed the heel of her palm to her mouth to mask the sound. "Oh my God. I'm such a fucking idiot." Gigi let her face fall into her hands, and she was out of view for Nicky.

"Gigi--"

"P-please don't, Nicky. It's okay, just. Please, please d-don't."

Nicky gasped softly, feeling her own tears well up at hearing Gigi pleading. She shut her mouth until it pinched and twisted with her own hurt.

"I just, I don't think--" Nicky tried again.

"I kn-know. I know now. Can you n-not look at me please?" Gigi hiccuped, cupping her face with the influx of tears. She leaned away, wiping at her face and trying to calm her breathing.

The next moments were the longest of Nicky's life, as they neared the end of the ride. She sat as still as a statue, tears cooling on her face and dribbling down her chin, her hands sweaty in her lap. All she could do was listen as Gigi cried into her hands because of her. 

She said sorry countless times, but Gigi stopped answering after a while and would not look at her. She truly hurt her closest friend in the deepest possible way.

Why didn't she kiss her? Why was she letting old fears and memories dictate her happiness? Her throat locked up in frustration and anguish, a fresh wave of tears hitting her. She bit back a sob and wondered if Gigi heard it.

Finally, the ride attendant approached them to unbuckle them. Seeing the tear-soaked pair, he asked, "Are you ladies okay?"

"No." Nicky said softly, and Gigi frantically unbuckled herself, tripped out of the seat, and jogged off without another word. Nicky could hear her sniffling and choking the whole way.

Nicky's heart was absolutely mangled. It'd been hit with a cleaver and ran through a meat grinder, then burnt to ash.

The blonde woman sat for a moment, absolutely numb and feeling the worst she ever had. Eventually, the attendant asked if she needed medical help or something. She said no and got up.

She walked to her car in the parking lot, sat down, and let out a broken exhale. The exhale became jagged, and ripped at her lungs until it could only be called a sob. She bit her lip until it bled.

She was so stupid. So, so stupid. Gigi had held her heart out to her, and Nicky fucking chucked it at a brick wall, all because she was scared. What a joke.

She texted Jan that they were leaving before she could forget. She let Jan's immediate call go to voicemail.

She left some ten minutes later, once she could see past the tears again.

A male voice rang in her head, clearer than it had in weeks. She almost ran the stop sign out of the parking lot because of it.

_"Just...leave. I can't look at you anymore."_

It was becoming clearer now. Nicky wanted to get away to stop hurting others, but she just hurt someone she cared for dearly the most. She did.

It just wasn't in her nature not to cause pain.

\--

Two women on the same street both slammed doors that night, broke a picture frame and lamp respectively, and took too-long showers. 

They slept with tear-swollen eyes and broken hearts and burning lungs. And they fell into restless sleep thinking only of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh spaghettios :0


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! 
> 
> ****This chapter does have an instance of domestic violence/injury, and things get a little heavy, so please be careful!****
> 
> Enjoy and thank u for reading! U really are all angels and I love youuuu

Gigi got sent home from her shift the next day. She'd dropped two orders in three hours, and when Michelle went to scold her, softened when she saw how miserable the tall girl looked. Frustrated tears clung to her lashes, and her lower lip was nibbled raw.

Gigi's hair was in a matted ponytail, strings clinging to her pale, sweaty face. She was wearing barely a swatch of makeup, making her eyebags pronounced. She definitely felt worn-out as she looked.

Michelle told her to go home. Gigi didn't really want to go home, because she would just lay in bed and think of Nicky.

"Hey." Gigi looked up from her locker as Crystal approached her, twisting her fingers together nervously. The taller girl could hear Crystal's jewelry clattering before she even saw her. Crystal spoke softly, "Gigi, obviously you are not okay. Can you tell me what happened? Please?"

Gigi blew a breath through her pale, chapped lips. "Fell for Nicky. Asked to kiss her, she shut me down." Gigi shut her locker. "That's what I get for going after her, I guess."

"Ah, Gigi. I'm so sorry it didn't work out." Crystal approached and rubbed her arm like she was a wounded animal. "Can I give you a hug before you go?" Gigi nodded, the first semblance of a smile tugging on her lips since last night.

Crystal squeezed her tightly, her curly red hair pressing to Gigi's cheek. Crystal was a touchy person, and Gigi never usually liked people touching her in a friendly manner unless it was her. She felt warm and secure.

Crystal twisted them a bit, lifting Gigi off the ground which was met with a soft half-laugh. It was better than nothing.

"Do you want me to come over after work?" Crystal said, holding Gigi's hands in hers and swinging them. Gigi shrugged, but Crystal knew her well enough that that was an enthusiastic yes.

Crystal texted her boyfriend that she'd get home later (this man was such a home-body that Gigi had only met him on a handful of occasions involving movie marathons or watch parties) and said she'd be there in a few hours. 

Gigi left feeling a little better, but not by much.

She rode her bike back home, definitely wishing for a more quiet vehicle when Jackie was already on her porch in a terrycloth robe, arms around herself and looking concerned.

"Hey, honey."

Gigi robotically hit her kickstand. "I can't talk right now, Jackie."

Jackie gave her space, leaving her porch to stand at the edge of the road but not approaching Gigi's property.

"Can you at least tell me what happened? We've been worried sick." 

Gigi shrugged, bolting up her porch. "I'm just a fucking dumbass is all. Ask Nicky." She slammed the door before Jackie could respond.

Did Jackie deserve that? Hell no. But the wound was too fresh. She wanted to move on, but she heard Widow's voice in her head, telling her not to fuck over her neighbor.

Well, they both kind of fucked each other over in the end. Gigi just prayed that Nicky wouldn't knock on her door anytime soon, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

\--

_"Your neck needs to be higher, Nicolette."_

The voice was cold, annoyed. Nicky could only see black bars horizontally running along the walls, mirrors repeating endlessly. She always imagined it as a mirror world, where she could run away to. Everything would be backwards, and maybe then she could be herself.

Her _perverted_ self, as they would say.

_"Nicolette, were you looking at Victoria's chest? How gross!"_

_"You were checking her out! Eww!"_

_"Oh my god, stay away from Nicolette!"_

Nicky danced at the studio one night for so long that her pinky toenail fell off. She didn't remember it hurting.

But it bled a lot.

_"Nicolette! I will not have this type of behavior. If I hear you causing problems with the girls again, you'll be expelled from my class."_

Nicky used to wish her eyes would fall out too, so she couldn't look at anyone _incorrectly._

She could run into the mirror world, no toes to dance with, no eyes to see with.

She was running, planes of chrome mirror all around her. Black trees wove like bleeding cracks on the white horizon. Her lungs burned.

She called out, but her voice was garbelled like she was under water.

"Nicolette."

She stopped, finding it was hard to run in ballet flats anyway.

A tall, beautiful woman stood next to a tree, her auburn hair bright in the gray dreamscape. Her lips were bright red jewels, and she was wrapped in crimson. Even the tears on her face were red.

"Nicolette, my eyes should go, too."

Nicky gasped, reaching to cradle her pinched, pained face. "No, no, I--"

_"My eyes!"_ She shrieked, her hands covering her beautiful face. "It hurts! God, it hurts so much, Nicky make it stop!"

"No! Please, no!" Nicky screamed, but the woman pulled from her reach, falling to the charcoal colored grass, gasping. 

Blood dripped between her fingers as she screamed and writhed.

_"Gigi!"_

\-- 

Nicky sat up, her skin so sticky with sweat that her sheets clung to her. Her chest rose and fell as she panted, her throat tight. Her quivering hand brushed her damp bangs away from her slick forehead.

Well, she didn't want to unpack that nightmare's meaning right now, it was too much. A shudder wracked down her spine. She sighed and fell back into her nest of downy comforters and pillows.

She grabbed her phone from its charging station, and remembered why she was avoiding it since last night.

She had two missed calls from Jan, a missed call from an unknown number (surely it was Jackie since they hadn't yet exchanged info) and twelve texts from Jan as well.

Remembering last night made Nicky's skin crawl. She remembered Gigi's broken voice, and her eyes were already welling up with regretful tears.

She couldn't take back what she said, but even she was confused on why she said it.

There was always something in the back of her skull, encouraging her to take a back seat, don't go for it, don't make a big romantic decision. Something felt wrong.

She had wanted to kiss Gigi. Why didn't she? Was she afraid of being happy with what she really was? Nicky wiped her nose.

Probably. She didn't deserve Gigi, especially after she broke her heart. Nicky didn't know what she was doing--she had never dated a girl. She had clumsy hands, and dropped a glass heart and stepped all over the remains.

She let out a gummy, snotty sigh and dialed Jan back. Nicky looked at the time and winced at how late she allowed herself to sleep in.

Jan picked up on the first ring.

"Nicky Doll, I am gonna spank you so hard next time I see y--"

"I fucked up, Jan. Really...bad."

Jan let out an exasperated sigh on the line. "What do you mean? No one got hurt, right?"

"Not...physically."

Jan groaned. "Nooo Nicky! What happened?"

Nicky shut her eyes, her throat suddenly feeling swollen. Her eyes felt so sore from being rubbed at; she was exhausted.

"I don't know. I-I think something is wrong with me." Nicky gasped out. "I hurt Gigi and I don't know what to do." She clutched her bedspread when she saw how shaky her hand was.

"Can I come over, babe? You don't sound like you're doing well at all. Then we can talk, okay?" Jan reasoned, her voice soft. Nicky nodded jerkily before she realized Jan couldn't see her.

"Yes please."

"Give me twenty minutes. I'll be right there."

\--

Crystal followed Gigi's ominous text of _"door's unlocked"_ when she got off work and to her friend's trailer. Crystal opened the door and let out a soft, "Helloooo?"

She heard music in the bedroom, so she toed off her sneakers, dropped her totebag with a shattering plop and headed for Gigi.

Crystal knocked on the hallway wall as she trailed into Gigi's room since the door open. It was pretty hot inside, but Gigi had fans pointed at her from all directions as she laid on the bed.

She was on her side, her eyes far-off and so, so tired. She had shorts and a sports-bra on, and was hugging her comforter to herself. She looked like a mess.

"Hey." Crystal said gently. She had seen Gigi go through some heart break and emotional moments, and she was usually the suffer in silence type. Crystal tried to worm into her life anyway to provide some relief, if she could.

"Hey." Gigi whispered, without moving.

Gigi knew Crystal was a very empathetic cuddle-bug, and that sounded nice right now. 

Crystal moved around her bed, climbing up on her hands and knees. She tucked herself behind Gigi, and wrapped her arms around her friend. Crystal sighed and laced her fingers into Gigi's, stroking the back of her hand.

Gigi sniffed. "M'sorry."

"For what?" Crystal said softly, reaching up to tuck Gigi's hair behind her ear. Even though it was too hot to really cuddle comfortably, it felt nice to embrace her friend when she needed it.

Crystal couldn't see Gigi's face, but she pressed it to the mattress anyway. "I don't know anymore."

Crystal just pressed her cheek to the bony nape of Gigi's neck and listened to Gigi cry. Tomorrow would be when Crystal would make her laugh again, and tell her that it was a new day. No more tears!

But that was tomorrow and this was today. And her friend was hurt and Crystal would let her feel hurt for now, because anything else didn't seem possible.

Crystal felt some tears well up of her own for her friend, and Gigi cried harder when she felt them on her back.

Gigi fell asleep not long after, and Crystal extracted herself to retrieve her phone. She shot some texts to her boyfriend, raided the fridge, and found some popsicles.

She brought a couple back as Gigi stirred awake. She sat up, her pale skin holding a sickly pallor. Gigi looked fragile most days anyway because she was so delicate and thin, but right now a gust of wind would probably snap her in half.

"Good morning, starshine." Crystal said, despite it being well past 6:00 pm--offering her a frozen treat. Gigi groaned.

"I've already had like, five of those today."

"Then one more won't hurt."

Gigi almost smiled at that.

\--

Across the street, Jan was doing her own friend duty in helping mend Nicky's broken heart. But there might be more to be mended in the blonde woman's trailer, it seemed.

"So, even though you wanted to kiss her...you didn't." Jan said slowly, legs crossed beneath her and her palms on her knees.

"Yes! Do you see my problem?" Nicky exclaimed, running her hands through her short hair as she paced around the living room. She was halfway to an Albert Einstein hairdo.

Jan chewed on her lip. "Uhh...yes and no? Did you not kiss Gigi because you're...straight?"

"Yes."

"So you're straight. Not a gay bone in your body." Jan stated flatly and Nicky grimaced.

"Well, I don't know! No? It's like something was telling me not to do it." Nicky plopped on the love seat with a sigh. Jan looked on from her perch on a stool in the corner.

"Okay, let's pick at that." Jan really was good at problem solving and talking thing out--she was a great teacher after all. "Nicky, what...are your parents like? What would they say about this?"

Nicky had such a headache. "They'd kill me."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend? Or had a crush on a girl?"

Nicky lifted her head from the couch cusion, rubbing the base of her skull. It throbbed. "N-no. Never...a girlfriend. Only a boyfriend." She sat up, her hand still in her hair, rubbing at her scalp. She didn't want to think about him right now.

Nicky closed her eyes against the prickling of her eyes. "I c-can't...I need to get over this." She said, barely making sense to her own ears. Jan stared at her with growing concern. Rub, rub rub against her scalp, just below the curve of the skull.

"Nicky, do you have an itch? What's wrong with your head?" Jan crossed the room, shooing away Nicky's hand and pushing the hair away from her nape.

Between the fine blonde hair growing from her head, was a long pink slit, with tiny white pin points surrounding it. A wound healed over, having been stitched up.

"Jesus Christ, Nicky. Did you...fall? What is this?" Jan tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but this was getting fucking weird.

"What? Th-that scar?" Nicky pushed past Jan, running for her bathroom. She didn't really know why, it wasn't like she could see the back of her head. She knew what it was, anyway.

"Did you fall?"

\--

_"Did you fall?"_

"No, you pushed me! You p-pushed me--fuck!"

_"Nicolette, let me take you to the hospital, I--"_

"Get away from me. Get the fuck away." Her hand was red. The handprint on the wall was red. Her dress was red.

The bra on the floor was red. She was red.

_"You could have a concussion, please, be reasonable."_

"I c-can take myself thur. Le' me be."

_"You are slurring, Jesus--"_

"St-stay away."

His blue eyes were steel, and he didn't say anything else. She grabbed her keys and ran.

And ran, and ran.

\--

"Nicky?" Jan tried, peering into the bathroom. Nicky stared back at her, until a careful palm cupped Nicky's cheek. "Talk to me, sweetie."

Nicky looked at Jan, blinking rapidly. "I felt like I had to say no to her...because of what happened before, I think." Nicky brushed past Jan, her eyes bright. Jan just stood in the hallway, looking incredibly confused. 

"I was so scared, but I shouldn't be anymore." Nicky breathed, looking at her hands. "I was scared, but I stood up to him. I did."

"Okay...Nicky, you're gonna have to break this down for me because I'm really fucking confused." Jan said carefully. Nicky threaded her fingers into her hair, feeling the scar.

"I...after all the years of hiding who I was, I finally was discovered by my boyfriend. _Lucas._ " It felt like she had to push out the name, like vomit. "But he got so angry...and he pushed me over. I feel like the incident...it's fucking me up. Fucking up my chance with Gigi; it is like an infection in my brain."

Jan was watching with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

Nicky chewed on her lip. "Kissing her would make it too real. That I'm...not straight. That I'm not what everyone wanted, back then. Not a perfect housewife and not a mindless doll." Jan followed her to where she stood by the window, hand still in her hair. "I'm so fucked up anyway...Jesus."

Jan grabbed her free, dangling hand. "Shh, Nicky, no you aren't." She squeezed her hand. "Listen. Gigi really likes you. A lot." Jan sighed. "It's why we didn't have a good date, she and I. The truth is, she couldn't stop thinking about you." Jan looked apologetic. "She's really been falling for you for a while now."

Nicky bit her lip painfully. She couldn't believe she did this to Gigi. "Oh, my God. H-how can I make this up to her?"

"If you want her, _be with her._ What she wants is you. What do you want, Nicky?" Jan said softly, rubbing her thumb over Nicky's hand.

"Her." Nicky whispered. "I want her, too."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here we go, another chapter!
> 
> ****This chapter has a brief moment of an unwanted advance, it does NOT escalate to the worst degree but I still wanted to include a brief warning anyway. Stay safe! I promise that the next chapters are less heavy!****
> 
> Thank you again for reading and stickin' with this little passion project of mine. You guys make my quarantine so much better!

Crystal felt a bit bad about leaving her for the evening. Gigi did want arms around her--no matter whose, but Crystal needed to go home to her boyfriend eventually. Gigi'd sucked up enough of her time, so she just nodded and tried not to think about being alone with her thoughts. 

Gigi gave her a big hug, one so long and silly that it began in the bedroom, and they shuffled as a unit all the way to the front door. Crystal laughed the whole time, and she even got to tickle the thin girl's ribs until she batted her away with a bleary smile. Crystal smushed Gigi's cheeks together and kissed her hair, and bid her good night.

When Gigi was showered, her face stung from the tears and rubbing, and the thought of sleeping made her skin crawl.

She didn't want to be alone, as pathetic as that was.

Against her better judgement, and while hoping her sense would kick her in the pants, she started blowdrying her hair.

And putting on makeup. And getting her best looking bra.

A little drink at the tavern couldn't hurt, right? She wasn't working tomorrow, and she had a broken heart. Maybe she didn't have to be alone after all.

She knew it was a bad idea, she knew it would only end badly. But reasoning wasn't her strongest trait right now.

\--

Gigi stumbled outside, tugging on a battered jean jacket and fumbled around for her keys. She just needed a stranger to take her mind off of it. It used to be a search for pleasure to fill her quiet nights with fun, but it felt like a drug she needed right now. She needed to feel desired, because she felt a wet paper bag left out in the rain, or something maybe a bit more poetic.

She kept saying it was to get her mind off Nicky, but she secretly knew that she would be imagining Nicky attached to whosever hands would be on her tonight. It was fucked up, but Gigi didn't care. 

She was frustrated at the tears that sprung as she started the motorcycle. She wondered if she could lure someone in despite her recently aquired baggage--who knew.

As she was getting ready to kick off, she heard nearly the last voice she wanted to hear.

"You don't wear a helmet on your bike?"

Jan was on Nicky's porch, coat on, keys in hand, looking to have been visiting Nicky. Fuck, of all times? Why did their paths have to cross right now?

Gigi had to give her kudos for calling out to her when she probably looked like a mess, despite trying to paint a human face back on.

"Why do you care?" Gigi regretted the words as soon as they stained the air. She felt her vision stinging and blurring. Jan's face went cold.

"Gigi, of course I care. Of course I do." Jan stepped down to the grass. "Why would you say that?" 

Gigi bit her lip and sniffed. "I don't know. I'm not ready to talk yet, is all."

"I'm sorry, Gi. But you should...give Nicky a chance to explain."

Gigi swiped at her wet eyes with a shaky hand. "I don't get it, Jan. Why? Why would be act interested and then turn me away? I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, maybe I was delusional the while time." A dam was breaking, and Gigi was ripping off the barely-there scab to let the wound bled anew. 

"Nothing is wrong with you, Gigi." Jan said softly, then blinked. "Wait, where are you going? It's like midnight."

Gigi shrugged, her bike vibrating beneath her. She was opening her mouth to reply, when Nicky's door opened once again. Nicky froze when Gigi stared at her, her eyes pinning her to the tin of the trailer. Nicky looked horrible. A twisted part of Gigi was a little glad to see her upset like she was, but a far bigger part was saddened by Nicky's dark under-eye circles and unkempt hair. So badly did she want to press Nicky into hug, smell her perfume, feel her arms arms around her. 

No. She had to get over Nicky. Had to.

Gigi wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and forced her bike forward, pretending that she couldn't hear Jan call her name over the rumble.

Nicky ran to Jan's side, her throat tightening and her heart thundering. "Where is she going?"  
Jan sighed. "Lemme call Jackie, we may need backup. And she might know where she's off to." Jan held out her car keys, which hung from a ring with a big sparkly JAN" keychain.

"Go start the car."

Nicky snatched the keys as Jan stood with the dialtone to her ear, looking at Jackie's trailer just steps away and probably contemplating bursting in. She already gave courtsey call, after all. 

Nicky went to sit in the car, trying to focus on the upbeat Broadway songs that immediately poured from the speakers rather than what Gigi was getting herself into.

She needed Gigi to listen. Things were getting out of hand and she knew she broke her heart, but she desperately wanted to help piece it back together again. She dug her fingers into her eyes and rubbed them in frustration.

Jan yanked the door open and slid into the driver's seat in one movement. "Jackie is half asleep, so I told her we got this so we don't lose too much time. She said to try the local tavern--it is Gigi's quote unquote--favorite place to be miserable." Jan tried not to focus on Nicky's fallen expression.

"Let's go get her before she does something stupid." Jan said with determination, her strappy sandal already punching the gas.

\--

Gigi ordered two shots immediately, and was looking at her options. She was trying to eyeball all the women that she believed she could seduce into taking her home, but she was only getting tight lipped, uncomfortable nods.

"Fuck." Gigi's head swam a little, and she ordered a gin and tonic to nurse for a bit. She was just setting her sights on a woman with short hair near the pool table when a low voice tucked itself too close to her ear.

"You looking for company or what?" A shudder shot down Gigi's spine at the male's voice, her lip already curling in disgust. The man in question was probably late thirties and resembled a sweaty potato, but wrapped in flannel. 

Gigi regretted coming in and immediately snapping her neck from side to side, looking for a lay. Men usually gravitated to that, and Gigi was the wrong kind of flame.

"Yeah, but company who actually knows where the G-spot is. Sorry." Gigi turned away, sucking her straw and boring a hole into the wall with her eyes.

"Isn't that what every woman wants? Who is to say I can't help with that?" Gigi winced, her hand on the bar as she prepared to move her perch. Her head was swimming, but beneath it all, alarms were going off in her head.

She was alone, little over a hundred pounds, and in a pretty redneck tavern. She needed to be smart, but she was too drunk for her clever wit right now. Her feet hit the floor, but she wobbled a bit from the alcohol.

"Uhn--"

"Let me help you." 

Gigi felt cold as a fat, calloused hand cupped the small of her back before she toppled over. Her heart was beating fast.

"I--don't--"

The man was giving her a creepily caring look, and Gigi wanted to vomit. It felt like someone was sitting on her lungs. His other hand wrapped loosely around her wrist.

Fuck, fuck. This wasn't good. She might have to make a scene.

"Do you want to sit in my truck? Get out of this loud bar? It'll make you feel better."

Gigi felt like she was shutting down, like the floor was about to swallow her whole. Her throat tried to push words out, but it felt like she was drowning.

"Gigi!"

She could have wept in relief. 

Jan and Nicky were standing on the other side of the bar, their hair windswept and cheeks flushed. Jan's eyes looked to be full of blue fire, the level-headed one of the two. Nicky looked a little shell shocked. Jan's heels clicked sharply as she approached, her hand reaching for the the taller girl.

"Excuse me, sir. I'll take her home."

The man immediately backed off, and Gigi stumbled a bit from being pulled by Jan so sharply. Jan caught her swiftly, her arms wrapping around Gigi, and her palm pressing between her shoulder blades.

Gigi felt like she was about to snap into pieces. Her breathing picked up, and Jan gave her a concerned look. Nicky was staring at her, her eyes wide and glassy, her lower lip being picked at by her teeth. Gigi glanced at the floor instead of at Nicky. It was slick with spilled drinks and tracked-in mud. Gross.

Gigi choked for a moment, unsure if it was a sob or vomit. Her eyes stung, and heard Nicky make a faint distressed sound.

"Let's get you out of here." Jan said to Gigi, tucking her limp hair behind an ear. Jan guided the group out as Nicky trailed behind, looking lost and overwhelmed, and a bit close to tears herself.

"Are you alright, Gigi? Jesus Christ--I was so scared when you rode off. Are you hurt?" Jan said immediately once they were in the loose gravel parking lot. It smelled like rusty metal and pissy beer outside.

Gigi just bit her lip and shook her head, already feeling herself toppling like a house of cards. Nicky looked at her, her eyes so big and geniune and beautiful. She was so pretty, even now, that it hurt. Gigi missed her so much already.

"Please get in the car, Gigi. Let's get you out of here." Jan said, her tone not suggesting any argument. Gigi wasn't about to, anyway.

Nicky slipped into the back seat with Gigi, which made the tipsy girl a bit on edge. She didn't want to talk yet, and she was drunk, to top it off. It was a recipe for disaster.

"Are you alright, Gigi?" Nicky whispered. It was the first time she'd said anything all night. "I was so scared. I'm happy you're not hurt." Nicky's voice cracked, and her hand cupped Gigi's elbow, as if to test what she was allowed to do. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

Gigi pressed her muddied head to the window, and felt a hot trail race down her cheek. Her throat locked up, and a frightened sob left her lips. She clamped a hand to her mouth deperately and tucked in on herself.

What the fuck was she doing?

Nicky sucked in a breath, one hand still on Gigi's arm, the other ghosting over her fingers, a silent plea to let her give Gigi some comfort. 

Gigi missed Nicky too much. She turned to Nicky, and threaded their fingers together. It was like finding the last piece of a puzzle, the way their hands laced together. 

The dam broke finally, and Gigi was dead weight leaning into Nicky. Arms encircled her immediately, and she let herself be held. It was a greater relief than she could have imagined. "Nicky, I--" Her words were lost.

Nicky pressed her lips to her matted hair. She rocked them both gently as Gigi's hands knotted in Nicky's top. "It's alright. You're alright--it's okay." 

Nicky stoked her fingers gently down Gigi's locks and over her trembling back, holding tight as if Gigi would split apart before her.

"We're okay. I've got you, honey."

Gigi's paper heart crumpled at that, and her lungs burned as she wept out her frustrations into Nicky's shoulder. How she paved the way for misery for herself, how she fell for a girl who couldn't love her back. How she could have almost became a horrible statistic tonight.

Gigi didn't know how long they sat like that, but after a while, her tears faded a bit into hiccups and mascara painted cheeks. Jan drove on silently all the while. Gigi pulled away, her cheeks hot. She didn't even know how to explain herself.

Gigi looked into Nicky's soft, soft eyes and felt helpless. She was silent, and Nicky bowed her head almost in response. She wasn't getting much explanation from Gigi right now of what she was out doing. Nicky didn't feel she had any right to ask, anyway. 

The two rode in silence, aside from the occasional sniffle over the barely-there radio Jan had on. Beneath every street light, Nicky turned to give Gigi an encouraging smile or squeezed her hand.

Once they arrived home (in front of Nicky's trailer, Gigi realized) Jan assured her that they could pick up her bike the next day. Gigi didn't want to mention that that'd been her initial plan anyway, had her goal been carried out.

Gigi got out of the car, holding her head as a wave of nausea and aches wracked her. Nicky rubbed her back and hummed in sympathy.

"Well ladies, not that this wasn't fun, but...this wasn't fun." Jan said, stepping out of the car. Gigi definitely felt scolded. "Gigi, do you need to hang with someone tonight? That encounter was pretty...ewww-y."

Gigi sighed shakily. She turned to Nicky like a sunflower to the light, without intending to. Nicky smiled softly.

"I have some leftover casserole that Jan and I made." Nicky said carefully. "If you want some."

She smiled a little sadly and was trying to be lighter in her words, but Gigi could tell she'd been scared. She had had to chase Gigi's dumb ass down, go to the bar, and see a man's hands all over her. It turned into a rather dramatic night for them all.

"That sounds nice, actually." 

Jan gave them careful once-overs like a mother, and went back to her car and drove off for the night. Well, morning. It edged to nearly 2:00 am now.

Gigi could already tell her eyelids were getting heavy, and her fragile mood made staying with Nicky sound appealing, despite their unresolved problem. Gigi felt numb and frayed, and wanted someone to look after her right now, even if it hurt her tomorrow. 

She knew it was dumb. She had already resigned herself to it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY POST THIS CHAPTER bwah! 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Nicky got them ready for bed--instructing Gigi to eat a dish she had leftovers of in her fridge to avoid a hangover the next morning. Nicky did everything cautiously, as to not somehow upset Gigi further.

"Here are some pajamas, okay?" Nicky said softly, giving Gigi a tank and flannel shorts. Gigi took them silently into the bathroom, her eyes half lit. Nicky was getting worried at Gigi's robotic behavior.

When Gigi came back out, she announced her arrival with "I shouldn't be here."

Nicky sped over to her, already reaching for her hands. "No, sweetie--why would you say that?"

Gigi looked ready to crumble, her waterline heavy with frustrated tears. "I-I keep thinking that you'll change your mind, that I could still get you to...like me like that." Gigi sucked in a shaky breath. "It just hurts, and I wish I'd never said anything." Gigi let out a small hitched cry, her mouth hiding behind one of her hands.

Nicky's hands shook at her sides. She had to tell Gigi the truth, who was she protecting? She was hurting them both. She had to say it out loud.

"Gigi, listen to me. I didn't kiss you because I didn't want you. It was because I was scared. And I regret it...so, so much."

Gigi's red-rimmed eyes flicked to hers. "What?"

Nicky stepped closer, her hands cupping Gigi's shoulders. "I didn't want to admit that I am falling for a woman. That I am falling for _you_ , Gigi." Nicky gulped. "I'm sorry I didn't just tell you that. Instead, I broke your heart because I didn't know what to do in the moment. I think I broke both of our hearts, actually."

Gigi looked absolutely wrecked--her irises were bright against her painfully red eyes, her face was damp with tears, her nose rubbed raw. But Nicky'd never seen anyone more perfect. And admitting it out loud finally felt like a weight was lifted.

"Wait, so...you do like me? Like. Like _that_?" Gigi whispered. "P-Please just be clear about this, I can't handle a--"

"I like you, Gigi. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, care for you, date you--everything. But I don't know if you would even have me anymore." Nicky said sadly.

Gigi sniffed. "I would always have you, Nicky. I've never wanted anyone so much." Her voice was laced in emotion, and she finally stepped forward and grasped her hands.

Nicky's breath squeezed from her lungs, and the bottom of her ribcage felt pleasantly warm. 

"What am I gonna do with you?" Gigi half laughed, half sobbed. Nicky pressed a kiss to the side of her head and chuckled wetly.

"Hopefully forgive me one day?"

Gigi hummed. "I forgive you. Just please, never do it again." She laughed softly, but Nicky understood her hesitation.

"I never will, Gigi. I'll never hurt you again."

\--  
There was a new energy between them now, and they were walking through it on shaking legs. Gigi let her eyes linger on Nicky's face as she grabbed some blankets from the couch. 

Her profile was beautiful, her nose a perfect slope and her lips upturned and sweet. Gigi knew she was beautiful of course, always did. But now she felt like she was allowed to look.

When Nicky caught her staring, Gigi didn't snap her neck looking away like she used to. The blonde smiled gently. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Should we go get settled?" Nicky asked, motioning for Gigi to follow her down the hall. Gigi wrung her hands together. "Don't you want me on the couch?"

Nicky paused, seeming to realize she was being a little assuming. "Oh, sorry--if you want. But, I do have a big bed."

"Okay."

\--

Gigi curled into a ball on her side, pressing her face to the smooth purple sheets that surrounded her. Nicky was washing her face as Gigi waited for her.

Her heart was rattling a bit hard, but she was too tired to worry or be nervous. 

Nicky liked her. She liked her? _She liked her._

Gigi couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow being tricked still.

"Hey sleepyhead." Nicky said gently, entering the room, which was bathed in golden lamplight. She slipped onto the bed, her soft eyes landing on Gigi, who hummed in reply.

"Nicky?"

"Yes?"

Gigi chewed on her lip, propping her head on her folded elbow. "What do you like about me?"  
She just needed to know that she hadn't said it earlier to appease her breakdown.

Nicky looked a little caught off guard, but then extended an arm to run her fingertips along the silky underside of Gigi's arm. It felt nice.

"Your sense of humor, your fearlessness. Your drive, your willingness to do anything for your friends." Gigi stared up at her, her eyebrows knit together as Nicky continued. 

"You're so beautiful. Like, not-of-this earth pretty. You're like some artist's muse come to life." Nicky moved onto her side as well, the two creating a balance on the bedspread. "Your patience, your kindness. Just. Everything."

Gigi pressed her face to her arm with a wet laugh. "I'm so tired of crying."

Nicky's face pinched in concern as she folded her palm against Gigi's cheek, bringing her out of hiding. Tears clung to her long lashes. 

"I started falling for you the first day we met." Gigi said softly. Nicky's throat locked up.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"It's okay. I don't have to wait anymore." Gigi smiled, and Nicky stroked her hair away from her temple. 

"Thank you for coming to get me." Gigi said quietly against the comforter. "I was being stupid and reckless."

Nicky shook her head gently. "You were being hurt." Her throat bobbed with emotion. "Because of me."

Gigi looked at Nicky in the yellow lamp light. She looked as miserable as Gigi felt. Gigi slowly--slowly enough to be easily stopped--lifted her hand to Nicky's face. She thumbed away the moisture under her eye.

"Maybe I'm just stupid, but...I know you didn't mean to." Nicky looked up with sharp eyes at this admission, but waited for Gigi to finish her thought. "I just get a little scared, because I like you so much, and you could do anything you want with me."

"G-Gigi, I never, ever want to make you upset again. I just want you to smile. Always." Nicky's voice broke. "You deserve it." 

Nicky sat up with her eyes glassy, her hand threading into Gigi's hair as it spilled across the pillow. Gigi leaned into it, her eyes fluttering shut. Her own hand played with the loose fabric of Nicky's shirt.

They both looked at each other carefully, Gigi's head tilted and her sea green eyes curious and a little scared. Rubbed raw, a bit swollen and mascara stained. Nicky's periwinkle eyes were determined, passionate in her words to Gigi. They were true.

Nicky tucked her hand beneath the strong cut of Gigi's jaw. The taller girl let out a soft sigh, her eyes glazed in emotion. She licked her lips; her throat bobbed.

Nicky leaned in devastatingly slow. When she was so close that she could feel Gigi's warm breath on her cheek, the taller girl whispered, "Please."

Their lips slotted together, and nothing felt like it would ever fit as perfectly again.

Nicky inhaled sharply, and pressed further. Gigi was totally languid, melting into the kiss she'd yearned for for so long. She parted her lips just enough for Nicky's to sit in hers. She tasted like sweet, warm skin and sugar, somehow.

Nicky exhaled weakly, and Gigi pressed her tounge delicately to her lower lip. She could feel Nicky shudder. Gigi leaned up, tilting her head to press her warm, soft mouth to Nicky's. A hand stroked Gigi's hair and she was in _heaven._

Nicky could hear both of them breathing rather heavily, and surprised even herself when she got on her hands and knees over Gigi, licking into her mouth greedily. Gigi smiled around her, letting out a thin gasp.

Nicky didn't know kisses could feel this good. All she'd ever had were slobbery make-outs and cringey kisses--this felt amazing. Gigi felt amazing.

"Gig--hrmm..." Nicky breathed, only to be silenced by the girl she called for. Gigi hummed into the kiss--the crease of Nicky's lips was like velvet.

Gigi cupped Nicky's face as the blonde woman sat up a bit, breaking the kiss to catch her breath. Gigi followed her motion for a moment, then fell into her pillow with half-lit, dozing eyes.

Nicky looked flustered and red; and Gigi looked heavy boned and riding on cloud nine. All that was missing were little cartoon hearts around her head. "Wow." Gigi sighed. Nicky chuckled breathlessly.

"Yeah, I agree." She leaned on her elbows and slid onto her tummy next to Gigi. The taller girl's eyes were deep and sweet. They stayed like that for a moment, just sleepily admiring the other in the golden light. Nicky pressed her head to her pillow shyly.

"You're so beautiful, Gigi."

Gigi smiled and pressed her hand to her eyes. "My heart." Nicky kissed her bare shoulder chastely.

"I feel like I could kiss you all night." Nicky admitted softly. Gigi's hand wove into her hair, moving her fingers in the nape. It felt good.

"I don't see a problem with that."  
"Work might have a problem with that." 

Gigi sighed.

"Just...have Jan cover for you?" 

Nicky giggled and pressed her forehead to Gigi's shoulder. "You're a bad influence on me." Gigi hummed thoughtfully but didn't say much more. She just caught Nicky's eyes, her vision flicking to her lips, and they were magnetized again.

Nicky inhaled sharply when Gigi gently opened her lips and they kissed even more hungrily than before. 

Gigi's slightly calloused hand slid over Nicky's hip, one finger sliding under the elastic of her sleep shorts. Nicky panted into Gigi, her heartbeat suddenly going crazy.

"I don't want to push you," Gigi whispered, moving to kiss Nicky's neck, "But h-how far can we go tonight?"

Nicky's heart fluttered at the thought of Gigi touching her. Especially down there. But was it too fast? But holy shit, did she want her.

"How a-about above the belt for tonight? Is that okay?" Nicky said softly. Gigi put her arm around her, cradling her against the bed. "Of course, Nicky. I just want you to be comfortable." The taller girl tilted up her chin to kiss her cheeks and eyelids until she giggled.

"You make me comfortable."

Gigi hummed, suddenly obsessed with kissing and sucking on Nicky's neck.  
"Can I take this off?" Gigi whispered, tugging a finger under Nicky's sleep shirt. She had a sports bra on beneath, so she had no qualms in removing it.

"Now you?" Nicky asked, running a hand down Gigi's back. Gigi shivered and nibbled her bottom lip.

"I'm not wearing a bra."

Nicky swallowed. "Okay."

"Okay."

Gigi slipped her shirt off, and Nicky felt blood rush to her cheeks immediately. She knew Gigi had a great body, but being allowed to see it was a whole other thing.

Her auburn hair tumbled down her narrow, pale back, and her stomach muscles flexed a bit in the movement. She had faint indents where her hipbones were; the sharp lines reminded Nicky of a marble statue perhaps. She didn't have much of a chest, but the blonde woman thought she was absolute perfection in every way.

"You're so...everything. You're everything." Nicky breathed. Gigi bit her lip in some kind of resistance to a strong emotional response, like she might cry. Instead, she leaned in to kiss Nicky. They fell to the sheets in a pile of limbs and soft skin.

Eventually Nicky shed her bra, and feeling Gigi's body against hers drove her mad. She made it a point to kiss Gigi all over--her back, her shoulders, her nape, her collarbone--every beauty mark. Especially the one above her left nipple. That definitely drew some lovely sounds from Gigi, and Nicky loved it.

Eventually Nicky got them both some water and opened the window when Gigi's hair began sticking to her dampened temple. They were a little sticky from sweat, but still clung together; Gigi's head resting on Nicky's collarbone. Her eye lids looked heavy, but she kept stroking her nails down Nicky's ribs as if to remind herself she was there and not a dream.

"We should sleep. It's late." Nicky said against Gigi's hair, her hand stroking her back. Gigi must've been really sleepy, because all she got was a tired moan. 

Nicky turned off the lamp, and Gigi wiggled in closer, shivering a bit when a gust came through the window on her sweaty, naked back. Nicky pulled the blanket up over then, rubbing Gigi's shoulders as she did. The taller girl tucked her chin into Nicky's shoulder, eyes closed.

"Kiss me one more time?" She whispered softly.

Nicky did so, gladly.

\--  
Nicky woke to her alarm screeching, and her arms full of a beautiful girl. Gigi rubbed at her eyes as Nicky ran to the shower, made some toast and put on her face.

She smirked when she peeked into the bedroom again to see Gigi asleep on her propped up elbow, her mouth hanging open.

Nicky slipped on her heels and checked the time...she could spare some minutes.

"Hey, Gigi. Giiiigiii."

She sat on the bed, stroking her hair gently. Gigi moaned sleepily, stretching her back like a cat. A very, very, beautiful cat. "I have to go to work. You stay as long as you want, okay? I just have toast for breakfast. M'sorry."

Gigi shifted so she had her head on Nicky's lap, her sea-green eyes sleepy. "Crazy idea. You...should stay with me." Nicky giggled. 

"I will try to leave early if I can. See you later, pretty girl." She kissed Gigi's hair as she already began dozing off.

Nicky left knowing that gorgeous Gigi was in her bed, and she couldn't remember starting a Monday off this well in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Firework Noises*


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello! Thank you for returning once again. Kind of another filler, but more Nicky backstory! 
> 
> Take care, all.

"Hey, girl. Do I even want to ask how the night went?" Jan said softly, touching Nicky's shoulder from behind her. 

Nicky had been sitting at her desk, trying to focus on her work instead of thinking of milky skin and smooth lips. She turned to see Jan twisting her fingers together in anticipation.

"Oh, Jan. It was such a scary night at first but she's okay. I got her home." Nicky tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled softly. "And we...happened. Finally."

Jan's eyes went wide and she moved to one knee to be eye-level, a hand going to Nicky's kneecap. Her eyes were comically huge, and Nicky was already laughing.

"Y-you happened? What? Was there...a kiss?" Jan asked. Nicky nodded eagerly, biting her lip.

"A lot. A lot of kissing."

"WHAT!"

Jan shrieked, earning some actual, physical shushes. "Jan!" Nicky blushed and Jan was scooping her up and hugging her, half on her knees, half laying on Nicky in the rolling office chair.

"This is the best day ever!" Jan whisper-yelled. She stroked Nicky's hair for a minute, her eyes dreamy. "I'm so glad for you."

"Thanks Jan--I kinda just want to leave work and go back to see her. Is that horrible?"

Jan was already shaking her head. "Babe, you go ahead. Is that a cough I hear? You need a tissue? Go home honey you are sick!" Jan exclaimed, already grabbing Nicky's purse for her. "Give Gigi an extra kiss for me. On the cheek though. I don't want her getting ideas." Jan winked and grinned. 

\--  
"You really weren't lying when you said you had no food, huh?"

Nicky snickered at the voice coming from her kitchen as she toed off her shoes, setting down her purse. "Please tell me you aren't just now eating breakfast. It's like noon!" She exclaimed, going to greet Gigi.

Gigi had a ridiculously cute hair bun in (which was more of a half-up regarding its actual use in keeping hair off her shoulders) and her thin tank top from last night with short shorts. They hadn't even kissed 24 hours ago, and this already felt domestic and lovely to Nicky; seeing her root around in her kitchen.

Gigi frowned. "You kept me up! All night, kisses and cuddling. Exhausting." She pulled open fhe fridge. "At least I have popcicles at my place. You just have...cottage cheese." Nicky leaned on the counter. 

"Have you mistaken popcicles for a breakfast food? Please say no."

Gigi grimaced but it was more of a smile. "All these lectures and not even a kiss. So mean."

Nicky's heart fluttered and she gravitated to Gigi before her sentence was even through. She gently grabbed Gigi's hips and kissed her sweetly around a smile. Gigi hummed, her arms draping over Nicky's shoulders, but recoiled sharply.

"Fuck."  
Nicky's brow furrowed as Gigi rubbed her shoulder with a pout. "It's been like two, three weeks? Why does this still hurt?" Gigi whined, but Nicky was impossibly endeared.

"Because you were trying to pick me up so much last night? You shouldn't be straining it, or you'll undo the healing you've done." Nicky said, gently touching her bare shoulder.

"Sit in front of the love seat. I'll rub your shoulders a bit." The blonde suggested, because she would be lying if she said she didn't want her hands on Gigi right now.

The taller girl smiled and took her position eagerly, and Nicky followed to sit behind her, her knees parting around Gigi. She tried not to think about how she was literally between her legs. 

"Scoot closer." Nicky said softly. Gigi wriggled her butt to the loveseat and Nicky squeezed around her shoulders. The muscles felt tight and even though Nicky didn't really know what she was doing, she could feel Gigi relaxing by the minute.

"Mmm." Gigi practically purred as Nicky touched her collarbones and smooth shoulders. Nicky slipped her hands under the loose tank top straps to have more skin on skin contact.

Gigi was rolling her head and making tiny gasps and grunts with pleasure, and Nicky was feeling a familiar want deep in her belly.

She kept her hands on Gigi, but leaned down to kiss her slender neck. The taller girl huffed a sweet noise in response.

"Come here." Gigi whispered, leaning her head back and catching Nicky's hand before she withdrew. Nicky obliged, kissing a craned-over Gigi a bit greedily. Nicky's fingertips skittered on the delicate skin under Gigi's jaw, sucking on her lower lip between tiny groans.

Gigi eventually broke away, immediatey hopping to her feet. She straddled Nicky on the love seat, pushing the shorter girl's shoulders back. She huffed with a smile around Gigi's eager lips.

"Remember the pushing people around thing? Don't fuck up your arm, okay?" Nicky warned gently, taking one of Gigi's hands in hers.

She threaded their fingers together and pressed a kiss to the inside of Gigi's wrist, where her veins were blue and the skin delicate. She'd never kissed an arm just because she was so smitten to the person connected to it...never did that for Lucas.

Nicky sighed, remembering the weight she carried. Weight she hadn't even shared with Gigi yet, and needed to. Gigi was fairly quick to forgive without hearing the whole story.

"'M fine." Gigi murmured, kissing Nicky like she was starving for it. Pleasure jolted up Nicky's spine as Gigi held her shoulders and lowered herself into the other's lap. 

Nicky had to pull away before she got too sucked into Gigi's...charm and seduction. "H-hold on a sec." Slight hurt crossed Gigi's face for a moment, and Nicky held the sides of her face hopefully, assuringly. She stroked her thumb along Gigi's kiss-swollen lips.

"I think we need to talk about what happened. It isn't fair to you for me to not tell you." Nicky said. Gigi nodded minutely and slid off Nicky's lap but kept her hands on her as much as possible, like she'd float away if she didn't.

"So like, your past? Why you didn't want to get--romantically involved at first?" Gigi asked quietly. Nicky nodded almost sagely.

"Okay. Where do you wanna start?" 

Wasn't that the question. Nicky sighed through her nose as Gigi pressed a comforting weight to her side. 

"Uhm...well. I think I was afraid to admit out loud that I'm attracted to women. Or should I say, you." Gigi smiled a little sadly. "I know we live in a time where things are better than the past, but...I always knew a little. I used to get in trouble in ballet class for looking at the other girls for too long. I-I had to stop doing ballet because no one would talk to me anymore."

It felt like it all came out in a rush, and she stared at a spot on the carpet intensely. Gigi's fingers laced into hers. Nicky loved Gigi's hands--they were the only place where her skin was kind of rough from working on her bike and whatnot. The palms were big and warm, her fingers long and wrapped perfectly in her own. 

"Oh, Nicky." The blonde half-shrugged in response.  
"I didn't date anyone for a long time. I was too afraid to look at--anyone. It all felt wrong. I met Lucas because his mother was in a book club with mine; it was very arranged."

"Lucas. Your ex?" Gigi tucked a stray hair behind Nicky's ear. Nicky nodded, still not looking at Gigi.

"Yes. My parents kind of held a grudge over me after the ballet thing. They thought I was this little disgusting pervert." Nicky sighed. "It sucked. Nothing I did was right. So I wanted to please them and gave Lucas a chance."

"Hey." Gigi said softly. Nicky looked to her, and seeing her big sea-green eyes made her forget a good deal of the pain in the past, if only for a moment. "You got out of there. That's what matters. Sorry, but anyone who doesn't appreciate you is a blind idiot." Nicky pressed her lips in a thin line.

"I wish I had you to tell me that years ago. Dating Lucas was like cockroaches on my skin. I hated it. He was opposite of anything I found attractive." Nicky inhaled sharply. "We were together for years. I was so unhappy, and knew more and more that I wasn't attracted to men. I made a friend at work; she was openly gay--and that was the turnaround. Seeing what my life could be."

Nicky fiddled with her couch cushion with her free hand. "One night, when Lucas was away, I got too curious. I downloaded an app popular for one night stands-- to have a woman over, and it was...eye-opening. It was so obvious then. Even though we didn't do a whole lot, it was so much better than being with Lucas."

"Did she sleep with you?" Gigi asked. It wasn't in accusatory tone, Gigi would never be like that. She was just more curious how far her experience in intimacy was with women.

Nicky nodded. "We took a shower together, she took care of me. Afterwards, I cried for like an hour and she still stayed. She was very kind to me after I told her everything." Nicky's eyes got a little misty. "I remember thinking that she cared for me more than Lucas did. It probably wasn't true, but it felt like it." Her voice cracked, and Gigi was embracing her in a second. 

She pulled Nicky to her, cradling her head and rubbing the curve of her back. Nicky pressed her cheek to the plane of Gigi's neck.

"Anyway," Nicky continued, not pulling away--she didn't know if she could get through the next bit without crying anyway--" Lucas found out about the woman. He'd been on my ass about befriending my coworker, and his assumptions were proven correct." Nicky chewed on her lip, feeling Gigi's hand in her hair.

"We yelled. I admitted everything. It felt good to admit, but he made me feel ashamed. I was so angry. I was a bit afraid of what he'd do, and I ended up breaking a plate. He pushed me into the counter and I hurt my head pretty badly. I ended up going to the ER by myself."

"Nicky..." Gigi gasped out, her own voice thick with emotion. Nicky tasted salt on her own lips, and her cheek was damp. She reached back to Gigi's hand, still threaded into her short hair.

She guided Gigi's fingertips to the raised line on her head where the wound had scarred over.

"C-can you feel it?"

Gigi choked on a watery gasp and tightened her grip around the smaller girl. "N-Nicky, oh my God."

Nicky closed her eyes and hugged Gigi with all her might. Her past was rough, but it seemed like cloudy images from a dusty book now that she knew Gigi. It was another life, a tragedy, and now she was in a story with a bit more promise.

"I-I'm sorry I let all that shit get in the way. I wanted to kiss you more than anything, but-- I was a coward." Nicky whispered. She pressed her wet face into Gigi's shoulder and let out a restrained sob.

"You weren't, Nicky. I understand why you were scared; I was just scared in the moment too, that I'd lost you." Gigi pulled away, and Nicky bowed her head to hide her tears. Gigi craned her neck to look at her, a gentle hand cupping her chin. "You are so brave, Nicky. You survived all of that and left even though it was scary. I-- you are the most incredible person, okay? I hope you know that."

Nicky sniffed and sighed, shaking her head. "I dunno, I guess. It's just a lot." Gigi nodded silently and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you for telling me, Nicky. What happened after you healed up?"

Nicky scrubbed at her cheeks and sighed. "I stayed at the hospital, got fixed up, and wanted to leave. Lucas didn't try to find me, and that hurt too even though I didn't want to see him either. I felt so alone. As soon as I was discharged, I bought a suitcase and went to the airport. In the cab even, I didn't really know where I was going."

Gigi stroked her fingertips along Nicky's arm, waiting for her to continue.

"I figured America was a place that I could lie low. It took some time to adjust, but. Here I am, after living in a hotel for a bit." Nicky sniffed and felt like she could breathe a bit easier now with Gigi knowing what happened.

"You haven't spoken to him since? Or your parents?" Gigi asked. Nicky chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"No. I blocked my parents' numbers after just letting them know I had to leave. I don't know what Lucas told them, either. I feel like every day, I try to think about it less and less. Like that wasn't me, it didn't happen to me." Nicky felt exhausted. 

Nicky and Gigi sat in silence for a while, until Gigi saw how tired the conversation made the shorter girl. She guided them both horizontally, Nicky laying her head on Gigi's chest. She sighed in the embrace, both of the girls feeling their faces light with a flush. 

Not long after, Gigi could feel the steady breathing of a sleeping Nicky under her chin. Nicky was stronger than she seemed to know--Gigi didn't know if she could ever endure what she did. Sure, Gigi's own father left when she was young, but her mom never cared what she did or who she dated as long as she stayed safe. If anything she was chided more on getting caught _in_ bed with a girl than the fact that it _was_ a girl.

The literal weight of Nicky on her chest was something she didn't want to lose. She didn't remember ever feeling so strongly for someone, and it scared her a little.

But it felt like they were two messes with complicated hearts that fit well within in eachother. They could borrow broken shards from each other.

Nicky stirred an hour or so later, and Gigi figured she should go home and shower. Nicky pulled her down for a kiss and said she didn't have to, but the taller girl felt greasy and a bit sweaty from the previous evening's festivities.

Nicky lent her a cardigan to cross the street in so that she wasn't in pajamas, and Gigi was endeared all over again. The borrowed garment smelled like lavender.

"You work tomorrow?" Nicky asked, running her hand along the inside of the cardigan. Gigi nodded.

"Text me after, I can make us some dinner."  
Gigi hummed. "More fondue?"

"Maybe a little more substantial. Cottage cheese?" The two girls giggled.

"Okay. Well, I better go. Hey, thank you...for telling me about everything." Gigi stepped up to Nicky until their chests touched. "Thank you for trusting me."

Nicky's eyes were bright and hopeful. "Thank you for forgiving me and listening." Gigi combed her fingers through Nicky's hairline, and leaned in to kiss her with all the tenderness she could muster.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait you guys!
> 
> But guess what this chapter is? Literally just smutty smut smut oop...if that isn't your thing you won't miss much by skipping. I think this is the first sex scene I've posted so don't drag me too hard lmaoooo.
> 
> **(Rating has also been updated! Explicit content, beware!)**
> 
> Enjoy!

Gigi was in higher spirits than she could remember the next day at work. She made small talk with customers, was bubbly and cheerful, and was a stark contrast to the zombie she was the day after the festival disaster.

Gigi was even caught humming--humming! As Crystal clocked in a couple hours staggering her.

"Someone changed their tune, Snow White!" Crystal marveled, her smile blinding. "Wh-what happened? Did something happen? Something happened."

Gigi giggled and threaded her fingers into Crystal's, her face flushing. "We finally kissed. Finally! I kissed Nicky." 

Crystal bounced on her feet until Michelle gave her a stink eye to calm her down. "No way! That is awesome, Gigi! So is she okay with everything? Like, should I keep it on the DL?"

Gigi half-shrugged and wiped down a booth to keep busy. "I think it's just...past issues. She knows none of us judge, of course. I'm just glad she finally has someone to lean on, and vice versa."

Crystal hummed and pinched Gigi's cheek, much to her feigned annoyance. "Ouch!"

"Ahh, my little Geeg is all grown up and in love!"

Gigi twisted her wet rag and smacked Crystal's butt, resulting in bathroom cleaning duty for them both by an exhausted Michelle.

\--

"It smells fuckin' good in here." Gigi said in a sing-songy voice as Nicky chuckled. The shorter woman was lifting some kind of casserole from the oven, and Gigi may or may not be checking her out.

It still felt weird in a way, yearning for Nicky as this untouchable dream, getting denied, and then flipping a full one-eighty and spending time together with romantic gestures. Gigi felt a smile tugging on her lips as she pulled some bread rolls from their bag to serve.

"Whatcha smiling about over there?" Nicky asked. Gigi blushed--she would never not blush when it came to Nicky.

"Hmmm...just thinking about you, booboo." Nicky chuckled at the silly petname, but slid her arms around Gigi, hugging her from the back. She pressed a kiss to her shoulder through her blouse.

"Funny, I was thinking about you, too."

Dinner was full of stolen glances and kisses, nibbling on each other's food and sipping wine. Gigi loved it. She never met someone like this that she wanted to be around always--past flings usually wormed an annoyance into her heart after multiple hours. Yet with Nicky, with every passing day, she grew more and more endeared.

Once dinner was put away and the two made their way to the couch with their wine glasses refilled, Gigi was purring like a cat at every bit of contact. Nicky pushed a hand up and down Gigi's thin back, rubbing the curve of her elegant spine.

"You would have been an amazing ballet dancer, you know. You have the physique for it." Nicky muses. Gigi leaned into her side.

"Physique, eh?" Nicky hummed into her wine glass. Gigi then asked, "Do you miss ballet? When did you stop?"

Nicky winced a little and shrugged. "I stopped when I was a teenager. That's when the bullying got really bad, and I couldn't even focus on my routines." She swirled her glass thoughtfully. "I miss dancing, but it was sometimes so strict, it didn't feel like dancing. And I definitely don't miss my toenails falling off." Gigi's wide eyes made her scoff with a smile.

"My feet are pretty fucked up now. You wanna see?"

"Ew, Nicky! No!" Gigi laughed, and laughed harder when the blonde woman actually pulled a sock off. Even though Nicky was being silly, she was being open. And it felt nice to not be judged.

Gigi caved and grabbed Nicky's ankle, her tinkling laughter filling the room. Gigi looked at the callouses and scars where skin looked to have cracked, and toe nails not grown back the same. Her toes were curled inward to a point ever so slightly, even all these years later.

Nicky fell silent as Gigi cradled her calf, pressing a thumb into her sole firmly. Her fingers worked to give Nicky a little foot massage as the receiver sat and watched, transfixed.

Gigi pressed a kiss to her inner ankle, like it was a precious thing. Like _she_ was a precious thing.

"Gigi." Nicky breathed.

Her sea-green eyes shimmered as the air changed from playful to heavy, and she wove her own body up Nicky's. Their lips met in a sweet reunion.

Nicky put her hands in Gigi's auburn waves, relishing the soft sucking noises of their lips sliding together. Nicky shivered as the taller girl guided her head down to rest on the arm of the plush couch, her lips trailing hotly down her neck. "Angh..." Nicky gasped, her eyes falling closed as Gigi sucked on her skin, then soothing it with the flat of her tounge.

Gigi sat up over Nicky, her fingers running down the opening of Nicky's top in a silent request. The blonde began undoing the buttons as Gigi flung off her own top in a swift movement.

Gigi was immediately back on Nicky, nipping and licking. Their heavy breathing was deafening in the silent trailer. Nicky, in a stroke of perhaps dumb bravery, ran a hand up Gigi's backside, her fingertips whispering down the middle seam of her leggings, where the cleft between her legs was. It was impossibly warm there.

Gigi jerked back in surprised arousal, an almost guttural noise coming from her chest. "Hnng, fuck, Nicky."

"Oh, did I hit a sensitive spot?" Nicky tried to sound aloof, but she was panting as well. Fuck going slow anymore--she wanted to make Gigi writhe and call for her. She flushed hotly at the thought.

As if possessed, she ran a finger between Gigi's legs again as the girl straddled her. Gigi cried out sharper than before, shaking her head. "Okay, leggings are coming off."

Nicky took this time to sit up and press open-mouthed kisses along Gigi's ribs, licking between the indents. Nicky chuckled when she realized Gigi'd stopped working her leggings off, and just sat with her eyes closed, enjoying the ministrations. "Weren't you in the middle of doing something, Miss Gigi?" Nicky smirked, expertly flicking Gigi's bra clasp open. The garment fell to the carpet.

Gigi flushed and yanked off her leggings, and it was Nicky's turn to be speechless. Gigi was wearing a black thong.

Well, fuck.

Nicky's hand skittered along Gigi's naked thigh, until the taller girl tilted her head with half-lit eyes, and Nicky pressed a kiss to her mouth hungrily. 

Nicky broke the kiss for a moment to get her own bottoms off, then peppered Gigi's neck with more bites and nips. Her skin tasted sweet. The blonde's hand traveled from Gigi's collarbone, around her breast, and fanned down her toned belly. Gigi fumbled with getting Nicky's bra off, her brain a bit occupied.

Gigi gasped sharply when Nicky dipped lower, under her panties until her fingers were pressing to wet slick and delicate skin. Nicky shuddered just from the touch.

"Unn...oh." Gigi almost said to herself, leaning forward to press her forehead to Nicky's shoulder. One of her legs extended to accomodate the lack of room on the couch.

"God, Gigi. Y-you're soaked."

Gigi whined, her hips canting forward as Nicky moved the pads of her fingers in small, slow circles, just exploring; marveling. "It's all your fault."

Gigi bucked again when Nicky pressed to her entrance, her fingers already entirely wet with her arousal. "F-fuck."

Nicky couldn't get enough of the sounds she made. She licked into Gigi's parted mouth, swallowing her hitched breaths as she dipped a finger into her. Gigi's arms looped around her before she could fall over. Nicky took that as a sign, and whispered into Gigi's ear, "Why don't we take this to the bedroom?"

Gigi whined almost like a child. "No, just fuck me here. Please." She grabbed a blanket from ths side of the couch and slipped it beneath her. Almost as an afterthought, she wriggled the thong off (diligent to keep Nicky inside her the whole time). Nicky's brain almost shut off, heat creeping up her neck.

"Nicky. I need you, okay?" Gigi called her back, touching her cheek gently, her hazy eyes searching. Gigi shifted her hips as she leaned back with a moan. Nicky couldn't believe how undone Gigi already was, just from this.

"I've got you." Nicky whispered, her blonde bangs falling over one eye. She wriggled her finger, pulling back just to add another. Gigi felt like velvet, and it was tight with two. Gigi hissed in a shaky breath, her eyes twisting shut.

Nicky pressed the thumb of her free hand in where she was most sensitive, rubbing firmly as Gigi all but sobbed. Nicky kissed her deeply, but the other girl was already beginning to lock up in the oncoming climax. It really had only been a few minutes, but Nicky wanted to bring her where she needed to be.

"Hnnf...Nicky, that's ahh--!"

"Hmm, yeah? What's that, sweetie?"

"It feels good, it feels good, haanhh..." Gigi was babbling, and Nicky was impossibly turned on at Gigi forgetting basic human speech.

Nicky curled her fingers, searching for the spot within her to make Gigi see stars. She deserved to see stars.

"F-fuck! There! Th-there, please--"

"I know. I've got you."

Gigi had her legs and arms wrapped around Nicky, her damp forehead pressed to hers. She moved her hand to push back Nicky's bangs so she could see her eyes. They were determined, dark and fiery. Fuck. She could almost feel her own eyes crossing as the pleasure built, and her toes were curling.

"Come on, pretty girl. Come on, Gigi." Nicky whispered into her ear, worrying her lobe between her teeth gently. 

"Nicky--"

Nicky navigated a hand to press into Gigi's tailbone, her hand now doing double duty of thrusting and her thumb rubbing firmly against her. She pressed their damp bodies close, and pumped once, twice, three times, and Gigi practically squealed from pleasure.

She threw her head back, and her last comprehensible thought was of her dream, weeks ago, where she was falling and Nicky let her plummet.

"I've got you, Gigi." Nicky whispered, her sweat-slick temple on hers. Her arm wrapped around her hips securely as Gigi began to buck with her obtained surge of pleasure. Nicky wasn't blind, she could see that Gigi reacted to reassuring phrases. Her heart pinched a bit at the realization.

Gigi cried out, feeling embraced and taken care of as Nicky pressed a sloppy kiss to her throat, her hand tightening against the small of her back.

A tear streaked down Gigi's face, and she felt her body twitching and spasming, Nicky still thrusting into her unrelentlessly. She let out a sound not unlike a sob, and felt herself return to her sore, contorted body on Nicky's couch.

Her head rolled backwards, and she gasped when Nicky extracted her fingers, wiping them on the now-ruined blanket under Gigi.

"Hey." Nicky said softly, stroking Gigi's hair away from where it clung to her sweaty brow. Gigi shivered. "You okay, baby?"

The petname warmed Gigi's heart. She nodded, wiping her embarassingly damp eyes. "Yeah. That was...wow. A lot."

Nicky chuckled. "It looked intense." Gigi grinned, her head cloudy, dreamy and full of Nicky's laughter. Nicky cupped her face gently.

"You are so beautiful, mon trésor."

"Mon trésor?" Gigi asked. Nicky laughed softly at her letting her French slip in. She must be feeling pretty dreamy too.  
"Erm...it means 'my treasure'. I know it's a little cheesy, but--"

"No, I like it." Gigi flushed pink down to her naked chest and smiled softly. "I...thank you. Takes one to know one."

"Oh yeah?" Nicky smiled, and Gigi had no choice but to kiss her. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I can't believe this season is almost over you guys werrh! I love these girls so much. I will miss seeing them on TV every week!
> 
> \--  
> Enjoy the chapter! Sorry but....more smut just at the beginning. Nicky didn't have her turn after all! ;)

Even though it was still light outside, Gigi suggested they lay in Nicky's room and watch a movie "or something". Nicky had some idea of what that was when Gigi hopped off down the hall, still butt naked. Nicky was only in her panties, but stripped them off quickly before she could think more of it.

Gigi was twisting on the covers, still blissed out and wobbly from her orgasm. As Nicky got on the bed, Gigi said, "I'm a bad friend. You got me off but you didn't even come, did you?"

Nicky chuckled through a fierce blush. "Can't say I did. I was too focused on you, darling." She rolled her tounge on the last word, and Gigi's eyes darkened a bit as she moved onto her belly. 

Gigi let her eyes shamelessly drink in Nicky. Nicky had muscles hiding under her delicate facade, and Gigi could see the shadows of them move. Her skin was tan and flawless--a contrast to her bright blonde, nearly white hair. She was curvier than Gigi (mostly everyone was) but had a compact frame. Gigi wondered what all that untouched skin would feel like on her tounge. 

With Nicky reclining (and naked) and Gigi on her (naked) tummy, her face near her hip (naked), it didn't take long to guess what came next. Gigi pressed a kiss to the delicate skin where Nicky's hip met her leg, and the blonde let out a weak moan. Gigi let the tip of her tounge trace over the top of her thigh, and she peppered kissed to Nicky's flat, quivering stomach.

"God, Nicky. You are so...freaking perfect." Gigi said softly, her hand gently moving her thighs apart. Nicky sucked in a breath as she was exposed to Gigi. Her heart was picking up speed, and she knew she was very excited...down there. She wouldn't be lasting long at all.

Gigi tossed her hair over her shoulder, swallowed thickly. Nicky was beautiful, everywhere. She wanted to make her feel good, just as she did to her. She wanted to see her blissed out, boneless and melting into the sheets.

She pressed a kiss to the inside of the thigh, grazing her teeth along the skin gently until Nicky's legs trembled. "Can I?" Gigi asked softly, her hand cupping under the flesh of Nicky's thigh, the other hand seeking out a partner. Gigi's fingers slid into Nicky's hand seamlessly.

Nicky exhaled shakily. "Please."

Gigi leaned forward, and pressed a searing kiss to Nicky's heat, causing the woman's legs to jerk on reflex at the foreign feeling. Gigi was mesmerized by the soft skin and slick noises just a level quieter than Nicky's tight whimpers.

Gigi pushed her shoulders in a bit more, widening Nicky's legs further. "A-ahn, ahh..." Nicky choked out as Gigi pressed her fingertips into the folds to spread her wider. She licked into her greedily, her hands quivering at the lewdness of it all.

She was eating out Nicky. Finally her lesbian desires were being realized. 

"Fuck...Gigi." Her shaking hand tightened in Gigi's, like a lifeline. Gigi pressed her lips tightly around the tiny bundle of nerves and hummed, causing Nicky to curse and buck her hips enough for Gigi to need to pin the down as best she could. "I-I'm already close."

Nicky sounded like she'd ran a marathon. Gigi pulled away, admiring the quivering pink mess she'd helped create. Nicky whined at the lack of contact, just before Gigi went in for the last go.

She spread Nicky out, and pressed her tounge in deeply, and lapped and sucked and kissed until Nicky nearly seized over in pleasure. She wasn't as vocal as Gigi, but her punched grunts and hitched breaths were music to Gigi's ears.

Nicky's heels flew in the air as she laid stock still, her orgasm claiming her. She exhaled sharply through her nose, then fell back in a boneless heap. "Oh God...oh shit."

Gigi wiped her mouth and took some heaving breaths of her own and sat up to admire the woman before her. Her head was thrown back, her chest heaving and shimmering from sweat. 

Gigi pressed a fleeting kiss to Nicky's hipbone, and slithered up, hooking her arm around the blonde's ribs. She trembled. 

"That was..I don't think I've ever came that hard." Nicky chuckled, but her voice was thick with emotion. Gigi thumbed at her smooth cheek.

"Are you gonna throw me into horny jail if I kiss you right now after I ate you out?" Gigi half-joked. Nicky laughed sleepily.

"I might throw you in the brig tomorrow. But I don't care--bring me those lips, you jezebel." Gigi giggled into the kiss, and felt everywhere where their bodies were tacked together with sweat. It was perfect.

She was perfect.

\--

The month following Gigi and Nicky seeing each other was the best period of Gigi's life, as far as she could recall. She awoke with the thought every day: _I get to see Nicky today._

And kiss her, laugh with her, hold her.

She tried to get as many morning shifts as she could, so she would get off her shift just briefly after Nicky. Plus, Crystal was a solid morning worker so it was a win-win to see her every day as well.

Nicky and Gigi would arrange double dates with Jan and Jackie as often as possible, the two pairs teasing each other constantly. Gigi loved it all.

Nicky eventually met Crystal, and the curly haired girl shook her hand vigorously before pulling her into a spinning hug-lift hybrid. Nicky laughed brightly all the while, and a pink glow burned in Gigi's cheeks.

She was happy.

One evening while the two burrowed in a mass of limbs on Nicky's couch, Nicky fell asleep against Gigi's shoulder, her hand loosely wrapped in hers. 

Gigi looked at her, her plush lips parted slightly. Her blond hair fell over her forehead in piecey strands, and the day's mascara left flecks on her cheeks.

She looked perfect, even now. _Especially_ now, in Gigi's embrace. Gigi even loved that Nicky was snoring a tiny bit--she was adorable. She loved it.

She loved _her._

The realization was both startling to Gigi, and so obvious. She loved Nicky.

She hummed quietly to herself, and pressed a kiss to the crown of Nicky's head, tightening her hold. She couldn't wait to tell her, even though she knew she'd been doing it in her own way already. Sending flowers to Nicky's workplace, rubbing her back after a long day, helping her bleach her hair roots, refilling her bubble bath.

She loved her.

\--

Nicky strode down the hallway in the school, the only sound bouncing off the walls were the click of her heels. She flipped through the manila envelopes cradled in her arms, heading to the admin office to drop off her paperwork.

She slipped into the office, smiling at the woman behind the desk. She'd only met her briefly a few times, but she seemed like a lovely person. "Hello, Jaida."

"Hey! You turning in paperwork for last week?" Jaida motioned to the paper basket on her desk with a soft smile. Nicky hummed and placed her work in its place.

"You do anything fun this weekend, Doll?" Jaida asked, clacking on her keyboard. Nicky blinked.

"Erm...I spent time with my girlfriend." Nicky suddenly blushed, it was one of the first times she'd said the given label out loud. She bit her lip to keep a dopey smile from breaking onto her lips.

"Ooh! How cute, that hyper girl Jan has told me that y'all double date sometimes. That's very sweet." Jaida smiled, straightening her papers. "Me, I binged Netflix and my man gave me a foot rub--couldn't have been a better weekend."

The ladies said goodbye and Nicky exited, slipping her phone from her pocket to see if Gigi'd texted her today. She was going over to Gigi's tonight, and while she wasn't as creative in the kitchen, she loved sharing her space and visiting Gigi's home. It had her same rough edges but cozy warmth.

When she spotted an unknown number's message on her screen, her eyebrows knit together as she swiped it open.

Her eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat on a blade-sharp inhale. Her notebook fell from her grasp with a hollow thud in the empty hall.

\--  
"Is taco soup like, romantic?" Gigi mused aloud, wiping down a table with her damp rag. Crystal snickered from her post of refilling the salt and pepper at a nearby table.

"If it is edible, then it's good enough coming from you." She teased. Gigi whined.

"I just wanna seem put-together if I'm making a big deal out of it. I'm not spreading rose petals on the floor but I still want it to be kind of special." Gigi explained, fiddling with her high ponytail. "I've never told anyone that I'm in love with them."

Crystal paused, her hands halted in motion. "Really?"

Gigi tucked in her chin. "No." She said softly. She knew she'd had many partners, but they were just faces and bodies. Nicky was a heart, a mind, a soul. Everything.

Crystal's eyes twinkled. "It'll be fine, Gigi. Don't freak out about it. You could probably text it to Nicky and she'd be excited."

Gigi made a squawking sound, drying her damp hands on the corners of her apron. "Text her 'I love you' for the first time? Crystal, that's horrible!"

"It's what I did with my boyfriend!"

Gigi's face of horror made Crystal shriek with laughter. "Kidding! I'm kidding! Oh my god, your face!"

Gigi sighed in relief and the two girls erupted in giggles until Michelle called to them. "Crystal, can you bus table five, please?"

"Bleh, duty calls." Crystal winked and skipped off with the wave of her dishrag. Gigi looked at the clock on the wall, realizing she only had a couple minutes left of her shift.

She glanced around to see Michelle puttering around in the kitchen, so she snuck her phone out of her back pocket as discreetly as possible. Maybe she'd have a cute text waiting from Nicky. 

She would be coming to Gigi's place that night, so Gigi would have to clock out, go home and prepare dinner (and what she was going to say). Gigi's heart fluttered at the thought.

_New message from Nicky._ Gigi grinned and pressed her back against a structural pole in case Michelle popped out.

Gigi's face dropped though, when she read the message.

**"Hey, can you please come to my place right after work? I really need you right now."**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG Y'ALL! But we are in the home stretch now! I can't believe the season is over ommgg ;((( I will miss these girls so soo much. Also-- all hail Queen Jaida! 
> 
> Enjoy, and thank you again for reading, from the bottom of my heart! Anddd reminder that this is woefully not beta'ed so please forgive my mistakes ah!

Gigi's heart seemed to harden out of fear--the text seemed ominous and urgent, and placed a block of lead in Gigi's belly. 

She tried to focus on driving her bike instead of worrying in the few minutes she had. The sun beat on her back--given that they were now in the beginning dregs of summer. Nicky was almost out of the school year once she'd submitted the last of her year-end work.

She pulled her bike up to Nicky's trailer and found herself basically rushing to the door. Before she even knocked, Nicky yanked the door open.

She looked like a mess.

She was was wearing leggings under a long tank that almost hit her knees--a stark contrast to her normally elegant lounge robes.

Her eyes looked puffy as if she'd been crying, her nose rosy from being stuck between tissues, surely. Her beautiful eyelashes were clumped together with tears.

"Gigi." Her voice broke on the word alone, and Gigi was up the porch in an instant, scooping the smaller woman into her embrace.

Her arms looped around Gigi's neck, and while she didn't fully let her dam break, she trembled and breathed shortly into Gigi's shoulder.

"Nicky, what happened? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Nicky pulled her by her upper arms to come inside, sniffling softly. "Please, let's sit down." Gigi did as she was told, her body on autopilot.

"I-I'm sorry for making you rush over and messing up our date plans--and I am probably being dramatic but I had to t-talk to you about this." Nicky stared at the carpet from her place on the loveseat, her hands rubbing up and down her thighs in a display of anxiety. 

Gigi's heart pinched a bit at seeing someone normally so confident and sure of herself crumbling.

"My ex texted me today."

Gigi almost leapt from her seat. Nicky's ex? From France? After all this time, what could he want? "Lucas?" Gigi said it like a dirty word. Nicky nodded.

"It just...stirred up a lot of rough feelings and memories. He wants to talk about what happened between us, and I still don't know if I want to." Nicky explained, her voice taking on an exhausted tone.

Gigi rubbed Nicky's wrist, the skin soft and delicate where her veins ran under her skin. "I...fully understand why you would never want to speak to him again. I definitely wouldn't. Nicky, he treated you horribly."

Nicky nodded. "Yes, but. I...I have to respond with something at least. Can you help me, do you think?" 

Gigi sighed. "If you want to. I think you should just send him the middle finger emoji."

Nicky ended up responding by just acknowledging the message. All the while, Gigi stroked Nicky's back and tried to distract her by putting on some 80's rom com on her TV.

"He responded." Nicky announced.

"Where are you? Are you alright? When are you coming back?" Nicky read aloud, a deep sigh pulling from her lips as she sunk into the cushions of the couch. 

"This is why I blocked his damn number. How he found my information is...is beyond me." She passed a hand over her tired face, and Gigi's heart clenched.

Gigi shrugged. "He doesn't need to know where you are. And you're okay. Dunno when you'll be back. Simple!"

Nicky sighed again, and Gigi hummed sentimentally and rubbed her back. She hated seeing Nicky torn up about this fucking asshole. He didn't deserve to ever talk to her again, as far as Gigi was concerned.

After some debate on how much information Nicky wanted to reveal versus Gigi saying he should get barely a thing, they settled on:

"I have relocated to start fresh and figure out who I am. I am alright, I have a stable job and friends who care about me. I don't know when, or if I will return."

"Is that too ominous?" Nicky scratched her cheek. Gigi simply held up the phone resting in her hand, pressed send, and then sat on it.

Nicky gasped but Gigi cut her off. "You have spent hours worrying about this dick today. We are all done dealing with it for now, okay? You need to relax. I can see your hair turning gray already." Nicky frowned in response.

Gigi noticed that her hands had gone to Nicky's shoulders, and she rubbed her palms down her arms gently. Nicky's eyes closed, her posture deflating.

"O-okay. Uhm, are you still on for date night?" Nicky wondered. Gigi smiled softly.

"How about we just take it easy tonight. Let's find some trashy TV to make fun of, okay? Maybe order some pizza." Nicky smiled, tucked herself into the taller girl's side. Gigi flipped through the channels, trying to focus on that instead of studying Nicky's profile. Her eyelashes were so long, she was just so pretty.

"Sorry for the freak-out. Thank you for helping me, baby." Nicky said softly. Gigi still blushed when Nicky called her pet names, and she probably always would.

"Of course, Nicky. You are a kinder soul than I would ever be to that asshole."

"I just...I get that he is a dumb guy and things got out of hand before I left. I don't think he had ill intentions--"

"He pushed you. Made you feel wrong for who you are. You had a fucking head injury, Nicky." Gigi said sharply, tucking Nicky's crown beneath her chin. "I know you have a heart of gold, basically, but he can fuck right off."

"Yeah." Nicky said softly. Gigi nibbled on her lip, feeling bad for being so snappy.

"I just don't take kindly to someone who hurt the woman I love, you know?"

Gigi didn't even register what she'd said until Nicky sat up, her periwinkle eyes glittering and huge. "Woman you...love?"

Gigi's jaw dropped, and she hissed in a breath. "Fuck. I was hoping that would come out in a better situation...but." Her face was on fire.

Nicky tilted her head, a huge smile on her lovely face. "You love me?"

Gigi reached out to cup her cheek in her hand. Her skin was impossibly smooth and so, so warm. "Yes. I love you, Nicky. I love you so much."

Nicky hitched a breath, like she was getting a bit overwhelmed. She closed her eyes briefly, and when her eyes met Gigi, the taller girl already knew what she was going to say.

"I love you, too."

\--

Nicky woke up the next morning feeling a little too hot and sticky, as she had for the past few weeks with the summer looming over them. She groggily looked toward the window, where Gigi's tacked-up black sheet covered most of the yellow morning light. Some beams still shone through, bathing the room in a dim golden glow.

The whir of three tiny desktop fans in the bedroom was all to be heard. Nicky turned to Gigi, who always slept on her stomach, a feat that Nicky could never really comprehend.

Gigi's face was smashed into her pillow, her upturned lips parted as she breathed softly. Gigi always had extreme bed-head in the mornings, and Nicky couldn't possibly love it more.

Love _her_ more. She loved Gigi. 

Nicky smiled to herself, wriggling close to place her hand on Gigi's naked shoulder. She'd kicked off most of her sheets in the night, leaving only fabric around one long leg while the rest of her nude body was exposed. Nicky let herself admire Gigi's statuesque form for a bit, gently stroking uo the expanse of her back.

Nicky was still reeling a bit from yesterday. It was a scary feeling, cutting all ties to her life in Paris and then being found still. It was probably her parents, she mused. They were always so tightly controlling and would be severely passive-aggressive if Nicky stepped a toe out of line.

Nicky couldn't help but feel a sort of storm approaching, a sense of unease settling with Lucas' text message.

At least now Nicky wasn't alone. She had Jan, Jackie, Widow, Crystal; her friends. She had Gigi, who she loved and loved her as well.

Eventually Gigi stirred, looking in Nicky's direction with bleary eyes. "Hrmm... morning."

Nicky smiled and pressed a kiss to Gigi's soft, sleep-warm neck. "Morning, sweetie."

Gigi stretched like a cat, groaning as she did so. Nicky buried a hand into her auburn locks, chuckling quietly.

"You sleep okay?" Gigi asked.

"Yeah. Just really hot."

"Tell me about it." Gigi sat up, and Nicky tried not to stare at her nakedness too much. A month together and Nicky still got flustered over her.

"So what's on the agenda today?" Nicky asked. Gigi twisted her back, some joints popping. 

"Hrmm...it's Saturday, huh?"

"Yep."

"And...I don't work today."

"Is that so?" Nicky asked coyly. "Well, let's see what Jan and Jackie are up to today, yeah? We haven't seen them in a bit."

Gigi agreed whole-heartedly. "Sounds great." Her hand skittered along the milky expanse of Nicky's ribcage, her skin smooth and warm. "And in the mean time...can I ravage my beautiful girlfriend?"

Nicky giggled. "Ravage away. Hell, I might even make my own beautiful girlfriend some pancakes too."

"Sounds like a plan."  
\--

Jackie pushed and pulled her straw, trying to arrange the boba pearls so they wouldn't all be left in a clump at the bottom. "Hmm...I wish these things floated like ice cubes or something."

Jan laughed. "Trademark that idea, my dear." Jackie smiled, the sun painting Jan's golden-tan skin quite prettily. The two women were perched outside of a cafe, cold drinks in their hands and a film of sweat on their brows. They both wondered if by the time Gigi and Nicky arrived, they'd have to relocate from the beating sun.

"I love your hair today." Jackie found herself saying, reaching out to loop her finger around a lock of her girlfriend's blonde hair. Jan had arranged her hair in a half-up, scattered with glittery purple pins and barettes. 

"Thanks, love." Jan giggled, obviously flustered even by a small compliment. Coming from Jackie, she was a giggly, goofy girl at all times of the day. She pressed a kiss lightly to Jackie's red lips, hoping their lipstick wouldn't transfer too badly.

"I wonder where those too goobers are. My face is melting off." Jan half-whined, patting a napkin to her hairline.

"Oh, well speak of the devil. Or, devils." Jackie said, pointing her sharp chin towards the sidewalk.

Nicky and Gigi waved nearly in unison, their hands interlocked. Gigi was wearing an aquamarine romper that nipped at her thin waist with white sandals--the colors making her auburn waves pop beautifully.

Nicky wore a flouncy red crop top with bell sleeves and black shorts, looking like a tiny blonde matador of sorts. Her lips were bright red to match, and her blonde hair was swept from her brow.

"Hey you two!" Jackie grinned, she and Jan hopping up to greet the girls. After everyone had a cold drink in hand and a seat to call their own, Jan clapped her hands together.

"So, how is everyone? Gigi, how's the married life?" Gigi sputtered and choked on her drink as the rest of the girls cackled, including Nicky 

"Oh my goodness, girl. Well, from where I stand, things are going great. How about you two?" Nicky smiled, rubbing up Gigi's back as she coughed.

"Jackie is meeting my parents next weekend!" Jan chirped, grabbing Jackie's hand and shaking it until her bracelets rattled. Jackie nodded and laughed as Nicky grinned. 

"That is so fabulous you guys!" 

The girls all chattered until it grew too hot, and they agreed to take their beverages down to the trail by the river nearby for a walk.

\--

"Why are they so stinkin' tall?" Jan mused, looking on as Gigi and Jackie were a few paces ahead, chattering away.

Nicky hummed. "Yeah, how dare they. Hopefully they never join forces against us."

Jan sipped her drink--something very purply-pink and full of strawberries. How very Jan of her. 

Nicky swallowed thickly, wondering if she should soil this sweet moment with the news from last night.

"So uhm, my ex texted me." Nicky said cautiously, meeting Jan's wide eyes as she held a swallow of her drink in her mouth. She was a bit shocked that she didn't completely spit it all out.

"What? Your ex from Paris? What does that fool want?" Jan said in a meaner tone than Nicky remembered ever hearing from her.

"Just to see where I am, I guess. I don't know, it is kind of freaky. How did he get my number? I am worried that my parents are helping him to find me. Ugh." Nicky tapped her nails against her nearly empty plastic cup.

"Well, we all have your back, babe. That loser won't mess with you ever again. Does Gigi know?" Jan asked.

"Yeah, I told her first. She would probably rip his face off if she ever met him." Nicky laughed nervously.

"Well, see? She's a keeper." Jan nodded to herself, just as Gigi called behind her shoulder.

"Come on, you slow pokes! Move those tiny little legs!"

Nicky barked out a laugh. "You are like, one inch taller than me, Missy! Cocky tall thing, you are!" 

Gigi just tossed her hair and laughed, and Nicky felt like she fell in love all over again. She felt like it every moment.

\--

The day ended with the women kicking off their shoes and putting their feet in the water, picking out pretty rocks for each other, and worrying about sunscreen application. Luckily, Jackie had a travel sized tube in her purse.

Gigi and Nicky were settling in for the night, Gigi piling her hear atop her head to tie it up. Nicky was looking adorable in her flannel shorts with tiny French bulldogs on them, because of course she had those in her collection. Gigi loved teasing her about them.

Nicky peeked her head into Gigi's room, where the taller girl sat at her vanity. "So, bets on how long until Jan proposes to Jackie? That girl is in in deep."

Gigi laughed. "I don't know, I mean, Jackie could be planning to ask Jan's parents next weekend." Nicky tsk'ed in reply.

"They have only been going out for little over a month. Just a little longer than us." Nicky said from the bathroom, calling down the hallway.

Gigi looked at herself in the mirror, smiling gently to herself. "I know, I know. Give it a few more months. If Jan has her way, it'll be an all lavender wedding."

"Lavender and lilac." Nicky giggled.

"What colors would you choose for your wedding?" Gigi knew she was stepping in shady territory but she wanted to know. She wanted the imagery of Nicky in a wedding dress just for her own selfish needs.

"Hmm...maybe like gold and white? Something classy and timeless." She mused from the other room. Gigi smiled. "What about you, Gigi?"

"I've always been partial to gold myself, actually."

Nicky popped her head back in the room, looking adorable in her pink night headband and green facial mask. "Well, then I guess we don't need to worry about our tastes clashing on our wedding day, huh?"

Gigi blushed beet red and Nicky cackled as her girlfriend tried to stutter out a dignified, human response. But, it never really came.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I wouldn't wait like a month to update again? Welll....👉👈
> 
> Please enjoy! Thank u as always to those who keep returning to this fic! It really means a lot and I love you a lot!!

A couple of weekends passed, and there were no more texts from Lucas. Nicky was very happy about that, and began to worry about it less and less. It was like the dark cloud above her head was whisked away by her friends.

School was released for the summer, and Jan and Nicky were free to all the double dates they desired (as long as it worked with their girlfriends' schedules of course).

A couple of late Saturdays were met with the four joined by Crystal and Widow as well, all of them squealing over shots at the tavern. They would all dig in their car consoles and pockets for quarters, trying to one-up each other in finding the most ridiculous songs on the jukebox. So far, no one could beat Crystal's brilliant finding of the 'Space Jam' themesong. The machine probably hadn't been updated since the song's hey-day.

Nicky and Gigi would sneak off to a corner by the pool table and steal kisses until they got teasing catcalls from the other girls. Gigi loved kissing Nicky's vodka laced lips, running her hands along her hips as the blonde gave her a half-lit glance and a smirk. Gigi would just have to kiss that smirking mouth all the more.

Gigi and Nicky bounced between their trailers often, but would usually stay at Nicky's more since she had a bigger bed. Gigi had a bigger TV, though, so some nights they would lay in her living room, and then gather their blankets to trek across the road to Nicky's.

Once, Jackie called out her window while they did so, saying, "Is this a double walk of shame or something?" They all giggled, hearing Jan laugh along in Jackie's tiny living quarters.

Gigi sometimes couldn't believe that Nicky hadn't been sleeping with girls her whole adult life, because she sure had sex like she had.

Nicky always just batted her lashes and said something about "she knew what her own body liked, so it was just like doing it in reverse." Gigi caught her looking up techniques on her phone one time though, and she never lived it down.

Not that Gigi was complaining. The first time that Nicky tried going down on Gigi, Gigi nearly blacked out from the pleasure. She wasn't sure if it was just different when it was Nicky, whom she loved--than some faceless girl two years ago in the tavern bathroom. Either way, it was safe to say that the internet how-to articles worked in Nicky's favor.

It was a Monday afternoon in the heart of the sweltering season when their lovely summer changed. The girls' collection of household fans grew by the day, and there was always a steady whir in the background.

Nicky was sketching in her paper pad, which was subsequently entirely drawings of Gigi with made-up garments. Gigi had often offered trying to sew one of the drawn designs herself. Only recently had Nicky come home with some bolts of emerald green and a sheepish smile. She loved the idea of them working on a physical garment together.

Gigi was thumbing through a dumb old tabloid that was months old and halfway watching some court room reality show.

A knock on the door was heard, and Gigi figured it was Widow or Jackie, maybe dropping off some margarita mix or to tell them a good movie was on TV. Gigi uncrossed her long legs from their perch on the coffee table, coolness seeping where her ankles crossed and sweat had seeped in. She was wearing just a black sports bra like every other day in, and Nicky's little patterned shorts which she decided she may be adopting into her own wardrobe.

Nicky continued sketching, not even looking up from her work as Gigi went to answer the door.

When she pulled open the door, she was a bit startled not to see Widow or Jackie, but a man. She suddenly regretted her outfit choice a bit, especially when his eyes flicked briefly to her bare tummy and up her chest. 

He had a sweaty, red face and jowls a litttle too low for his age--he couldn't be too far into his early thirties. He had blue eyes that made his complexion even more ruddy.

"Euh, hello. I am looking for a woman in this neighborhood." His heavy French accent made Gigi instantly on the alert. 

"Ma cherie's name is Nicolette. Do you know a woman by that name?"

Gigi heard Nicky drop her sketchbook in the kitchen. Gigi felt frozen. She couldn't believe he was here, this had to be Lucas.

Gigi was already preparing an excuse to shut the door, but she felt Nicky's presence behind her before Lucas had a facial reaction.

"Ma cherie! Nicolette!" He erupted into a long string of excited French then, and Gigi was still too stunned to even look at Nicky. Plus, she was fuming at the fact that he kept calling Nicky "ma cherie." The blonde had used it plenty of times with Gigi for her to understand its meaning.

Gigi popped out her arm to push Nicky behind her protectively, and Lucas' excited words died on his lips.

He said something in a low tone, almost menacing. Nicky let out a tiny gasp that was too distressed for Gigi's liking.

"What do you want?" Gigi cut in sharply, and Lucas looked at her like he forgot she was there. Asshole.

"Nicolette. Her parents want to see her. Wants her back home." His English wasn't as fluent as Nicky's, but perhaps it was because he was frustrated.

"I am home." Nicky said, and Gigi looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend. Her cheeks were splotchy with distress, but her bright eyes were sharp and unrelenting.

"Nicolette, please--" He slipped back into French and Gigi was getting pissed. Nicky was now speaking over him in an angry tone in French as well.

Lucas said something and gestured to Gigi, and she almost didn't catch Nicky with her arm in time as she lunged for him. "Woah, woah! Hey!" Gigi called out. Nicky was breathing heavily.  
Gigi turned to Lucas, her heart hammering. "She isn't going with you. So you can leave right the fuck now, asshole." Gigi hissed between her teeth. Lucas looked pissed, but Gigi probably looked even more furious because he didn't argue outright.

"I just want to talk." 

"About what?" Nicky snapped. Any goodwill she had towards Lucas when he'd first texted her seemed to be burned up in flames. "About how I bled all over the kitchen floor? About how I took myself to the fucking ER alone because I prefered that to you?!" Nicky was nearly screaming now, and Gigi had never seen her so wild. Surely all of her pent up feelings were bursting at the seams.

"Hey, hey." Gigi said softly, pressing her palm to the nape of Nicky's neck. Nicky huffed and wiped her mouth shakily, training her eyes away from the scene at hand. Gigi could feel her trembling through her hand.

"I just ask for one hour of your time." Lucas said evenly. "Can we meet for dinner tonight to talk?"  
Nicky was silent and still as stone, and Gigi didn't take up the empty air. It wasn't her place to answer.

"At least you must miss all of your belongings. We need to arrange for you to get that stuff back." Lucas paused. "Please, Nicolette."  
Gigi looked at Nicky, hoping that her eyes conveyed her message of it being the blonde's call. Would it be good to have closure? Probably. Did Gigi want to knee him in the tiny balls? Definitely.

"We will give you an hour, and not a minute more. Only because I miss all my clothes." Nicky said finally. Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"We?"

"I am fucking coming too. Not budging on that." Gigi said immediately.

Lucas sighed. "Fine, fine. Here is the restaurant address. I will see you at 6:00 pm." He went to hand a piece of paper to Nicky, but Gigi snatched it first. "Goodbye, Nicolette. It's good to see you."

Nicky stared at him icily and said nothing. He nodded and got off the porch.

As soon as the door shut, Nicky let out a frustrated scream, stunning Gigi to silence. She just sounded...enraged.

"That stupid fuck! I can't believe he is here." Nicky ran a hand through her hair, her breathing picking up. Gigi had her hands out, like she was preparing to talk her down from something. Tufts of white blonde hair ran through Nicky's shaking fingers as she messed with it almost obsessively.

Nicky walked near the small kitchen table so quickly and clumsily that her glass of water spilled and clattered to the floor, taking her book of sketches with it. The water seeped into the pages, bleeding them with gray as the two women stared on in shock. "Shit." Nicky gasped, falling to her knees and pulling it from the puddle.

She didn't stand up again, though. She sat on her knees on the kitchen floor, one hand clutching the sketchbook to her chest, the other covering her face. She gasped wetly, her words broken and shaky. "Why did he have to come here?"

Gigi crouched beside Nicky, pressing her jaw against her shaking shoulder, pressing their bodies close immediately. She carefully extracted the soggy book from Nicky's fingers and wrapped her arms around the blonde. "Hey, hey. It's okay, baby. It's gonna be alright." She rocked them gently, even though the water on the floor seeped through their pants.

Nicky groaned in anguish, which tapered off into soft sniffles. Her fingertips glided down Gigi's bare back as she let herself be held and calmed down.

"We are gonna get through the dinner and put it behind us. The whole thing." Gigi assured, running her hand through Nicky's hair as she trembled. "You won't have worry about it any longer. We'll shut the door and throw away the key."

Nicky pressed her nose to the crook of Gigi's neck. She could feel her nodding gently in silent agreement.

Gigi hooked her chin over her shoulder and kissed her neck softly as she let tears fall. They were hot, burning tears of pent up feelings that just couldn't be kept at bay. 

Gigi and Nicky sat like that on the floor in a puddle of water for a while, until Gigi nuzzled her cheek and coaxed her back on her feet.

Nicky shakily wiped at her eyes, and a bubble of warm pride spread through Gigi's chest just at the sight of her.

Nicky really was a strong person. She left her family and life and went overseas with little to no help, to escape a lie of life that she was living. Gigi couldn't help but press her to her chest once more, her long arms twining around the shuddering blonde woman.

"We can do this. You can do this, okay? You are Nicky fucking Doll and he is a goddamn skidmark." Gigi declared, her voice a little pregnant with emotion but Nicky smiled anyway. A bright white determination flickered in her periwinkle eyes and she nodded.

"Yeah. We can do this."


End file.
